They don’t speak to one another now

Little Sally Simple just to pass her time away, 
Sat and darn'd her daddy's stocking nice and neat,
When she got up from the sofa in a hurry, sad to say, 
Left the stocking needle sticking in the seat! 
That night when Sally's masher call'd his darling for to see 
He sat down on the sofa and she jumped upon his knee, 
But she wasn't there a minute when the chap began to dance
When he jump'd up with the stocking needle sticking in his pants!

And they don't speak to one another now, 
They had no quarrel or row, 
But she knows she'll ne'er win him 
When he's got the needle in him , 
So they don't speak to one another now!

Johnny's Missus made him take the baby for a walk,
And as usual Johnny soon got very dry,
So he popped into a little pub to have a little talk,
With the barmaid and a drink upon the sly,
He stayed about an hour then he bade her "au revoir"
He raised his hat politely, something fell out on the floor! 
The lady ran and picked it up exclaiming with a grin 
"Love- a-mussy It's the baby's .. anybody got a pin?"

And they don't speak to one another now, 
They had no quarrel or row, 
But he didn't like her grinnin' 
At the babies under linen
So they don't speak to one another now!

Gussy on holiday took lodgings by the sea,
Where he fell in love with pretty Polly Peach,
Every night he used to call around to take out and she
Every morning used to meet him on the beach.
One morning Gussy went to bathe and what do you suppose?
When he came out he found someone had bolted with his clothes!
His sweetheart came to meet him and was just in time to see
Little Gussy with the basket where his Ulster ought to be!

And they don't speak to one another now, 
They had no quarrel or row, 
But he left her without warning
Never stopped to say "Good morning"
So they don't speak to one another now!

Ophelia and Bertie met each other at the ball
Where the ladies looked so charming and so gay,
Bertie thought the fair Ophelia the sweetest of them all,
And secured an introduction right away.
He captured every dance with her and waltzed her to and fro
Till at last she got exhausted and was forced to "cry a go" 
Now the might have got her brandy when she fell into a faint
But he bathed her face in water and washed off all her paint!

And they don't speak to one another now, 
They had no quarrel or row, 
But she had a slight objection
To him shifting her complexion
So they don't speak to one another now!

A song written by the prolific TW Connor in the early 1890s. It was a hit for Fannie Leslie – see her brief biography below. 70 years later a snatch of the song was collected from the singing of Jack Elliott by traditional song collector Reg Hall. You can hear it in the British Library Sound archive

In 1911 a song of the same title was published in America, attributed to Herbert Ingraham and Edgar Selden. The structure of the American song is very similar, the American song starts:

How people love each other is apparent every day 
I met two women on the street and overheard them say 
"Why Mabel, your complexion looks almost as natural as mine 
If I didn't know the difference, I'd think it genuine"..

They don't speak to one another now, 
They don't even condescend to bow 
With a stiff and stony stare 
And with nose in the air
They don't speak to one another now

Like the earlier British song a series of unrelated verses each set up a new variant of the chorus to humorous effect . It might be considered to be a modernised version of the same song, but they do seem to have written new music…

Fannie Leslie (1858-1935) started her career as Frances Leslie – she was the granddaughter of composer, playboy, practical joker and occasional journalist Theodore Hook(1788-1841). Her greatest early success came when she was “discovered” by Augustus Harris dancing in ballets at the Metropolitan Music Hall in Edgware Road and plucked from obscurity to play a part in the prestigious Drury Lane pantomime. She went on to play the principal boy in numerous pantomimes in the late Victorian era. In addition to being a comic actress she was a singer, a dancer and something of a gymnast, often introducing cartwheels into her act. In 1893 she talked to The Era about the difficulty of finding new songs:

Songs are the burden of one’s life on the variety stage. Is the supply limited? Oh, my gracious, no. I get songs by the dozen. But so many of them are utter rubbish; and then when you get a good song, as you think, the public does not view it in the same light. A successful comic song is, of course, the heart’s desire of every singer ; and a successful is the most accidental thing in the whole world. You may buy them by the hundred, and practice them from morning to night without finding one that will take the town. Of course, when you get such a song it pays you….[But] sometimes a successful song is very short lived

A chat with Fannie Leslie, August 19, 1893, The Era.

Sources:

• Entries in the Roud Indexes at the Vaughn Williams Memorial Library: https://archives.vwml.org/search/all:single[folksong-broadside-books]/0_50/all/score_desc/extended-roudNo_tr%3A23528
• Kilgarrif Sing Us
• Lyrics and sheet music: Ascherberg’s 20th Century Albums: Veteran Songs of the Good Old Music Hall Days c1950, p26
• Sheet Music for different US song of the same name: Library of Congress
• Sources for Fannie Lesley biography:
  • Death of Fannie Leslie, Daily Mail 11th February 1935.
  • A chat with Fannie Leslie, August 19, 1893, The Era