I must have a day off for that

As sung by Dave Russell (Glostrad)

Now if every one was as fond of work as I am, you can bet
There’d be no lazy loafers, and there’d be no jobs to let.
But the circumstances will arise when one must stay a way,
For instance now my wife tells me tomorrow’s washing day.

So we’ll have a day off for that, we will have a day off for that,
I’m not the chap for losing work, I was never known to shirk,
But I’ll give it you plainly that ’tis the only shirt I’ve got
It got to be done, it must be done, we’ll have a day off for that.

Now close to where we live there’s going to be a beauty show,
There’ll be some lovely girlies there - I fancies I will go.
There’ll be a sight to gaze upon, but the attraction’s this -
The girl that wins the first prize gives every man a kiss!
So we’ll have a day off for that, we will have a day off for that,
I’m not the chap for losing work, I was never known to shirk,
But I haven’t been kissed for years and it’s not to be wondered at.
For fancy kissing a face like mine! - I’ll have a day off for that!

Now me mother-in-law’s been living with us for eighteen months or more,
And since that time I’ve put up with her insults and her jaw.
She clouts me wife and spends me money and orders me around,
And I’ve promised meself a hundred times if ever she do peg out
I will have a day off for that, I will have a day off for that.
I’m not the chap for losing work, I was never known to shirk,
But I’ll follow me mother-in-law with a face as long as a rat.
But won’t I smile when they’re pushing her in! - I’ll have a day off for that!