I can’t change it

AKA Sweet bye and bye
First Published 1894
Lyrics TW Connor Music TW Connor Roud RN8828

Music Hall Performers George Beauchamp
Folk performances Source Singers
Jesse Neil, 1960, Gloucestershire England
Jimmy Knights 1971 – 77 Suffolk England
George Hancock, 1970, Sheffield England
Grace Anderson, 1974 Shetland Scotland
Harry Adams, 1980 Somerset England		 

Oh, I know a lot of lazy men and meet them when I may,
They've never got a penny, always stony broke they say;
With me it's just the other way, for I'm a man of "biz,"
I've always got a shilling in my pocket, here it is.

But I can't change it, I can't change it!
The reason why I'll let you know, it's one I made myself and so
I can't change it, no matter how I try,
But I hope to cheat a blind man in the sweet bye and bye.

Oh, I never was a proud young man, that anyone can see,
Fashions I don't care about, for clothes don't trouble me.
I'll never be a masher, for I'm satisfied to know,
I've got a shirt upon my back, I can say that although-

I can't change it! I can't change it!
It fits me like a bloomin' sack, I've got but one shirt to my back
I can't change it, no matter how I try,
So when it's being washed I lie in bed until it's dry.

I got an invitation to A wedding down our way;
So went into a shop to get a new hat yesterday;
I soon got what I wanted, and the premises did quit;
Now since I've tried it on my nut, I find it doesn't fit!

But I can't change it! I can't change it!
For when the shopman turned his back, I sneaked the cadie off the rack
I can't change it, and never mean to try,
Or I might be picking oakum in the sweet bye and bye!

When I came home the other night, the nurse was at the door;
She said, "You've got another one, that makes you just a score,
Such a pretty little girl, I know you'll wish her joy."
I wished it to old Nick, for what I wanted was a boy!

But I can't change it, I can't change it.
I asked a lot, who ought to know, I asked the nurse and she said "No!"
She can't change it, and she doesn't intend to try,
But she hopes I'll have a dozen in the sweet bye and bye

I thought that I'd get married, like a lot of foolish men,
I found the girl, bought the ring, got married there and then.
When the job was over, I was taken down a peg-
Her hair, her eyes and teeth were false and she had a wooden leg!

But I can't change it! I can't change it!
It was a great surprise to me, half a woman and half a tree;
I can't change her, I wish she'd do a guy.
But I'll put her up for auction in the sweet bye and bye.

A song successful in the Halls of the 1890s, still remembered by late 20th-century singers. It is of course possible that they heard versions by one or other of the 1930s or 1950s Victorian song revivalists like Elsa Lanchester, but this song does not appear to have been sung by her or any of the other obvious revivalist singers, so it may be a direct survival passed on orally.

There is a rather wonderful version by Grace Anderson from the Shetland Islands available here

The song was written and composed by TW Connor. It was popularised by George Beauchamp (1863-1901), a comedian who had great success in the eighteen nineties. He must have been a sight to see:

he affected a hi hat, frock coat, a smart fancy waistcoat and trousers with the largest most violent checks ever seen, a cane and usually a cigar.

Mcqueen Pope in The Melody Lingers p395

George Beauchamp (1863-1901) was a Cockney comedian who began his career on the stage whilst still working as a printer. He had some initial success as a theatre actor and took leave from the day job to take a part in Hop o’ My Thumb at Rochdale. He eventually gave up printing to join a small theatre touring company but he had mixed success. He spent many years touring smaller Halls without great success. His first big hit came in 1892 with Git yer ’air cut which he performed alongside his other great success was the parody Them golden kippers, he was also associated with the song She was one of the early birds and I was one of the worms.

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