You may look but you mustn’t touch

When I was a boy, a mischievous elf,
I'd a very bad habit of helping myself;
My mother put everything out of my way,
And well I remember these words she would say.

You may look, but you mustn't touch, mustn't touch, keep your hands off,
You're inclined to be a little forward and must be subdued,
You may look but you mustn't touch, mustn't touch, keep your hands off,
Look at everything but touch nothing and dont be so rude.

At eight years of age, altho' not a fool,
I was sent every day to a little girls school;
I romped with the girls, and would not let them be,
So the schoolmistress gave the old lecture to me.

When I grew a young man, I loved a sweet maid,
And altho' she loved me, she was rather too staid;
I dared not embrace her, or ask for a kiss,
If I did, the reply from my love would be this.

As we were engaged, I said no one could blame,
So her scruples in that way I soon overcame;
And the dear little creature I married one day,
And if I want a kiss now, you'll ne'er hear her say.

We now have a son, a clever young lad,
The pride of his mother, the joy of his dad;
He reads to his pa latest news of the war,
Says the newspapers give this straight tip to the Czar.