When these old clothes were new!

THE SWELL'S ADDRESS TO HIS CLOTHES
(From Broadside published by Poet's Box Glasgow 16 Dec 1876)

Eight years ago I was a swell, sirs,
With rosewood stick and purse as long;
I quizzed the girls about Pall Mall, sirs, 
Till I found that game got rather strong,
I married got — what a misfortune!
From that moment every penny flew, 
So young swells all pray take a caution —
On my wedding day these clothes were new.

We went to church, and all was merry,
This Paris tile was new and light; 
We drank our port, likewise our sherry,
And every eye was clear and bright. 
But you, dear hat, could tell the history
Of where we've been and what we do; 
But how you stand it seems a mystery —
Think of the day when you were new.

And you, dear coat, that looks so shabby,
I never cuffed you, speak the truth, 
Yet on your arms I've nursed my baby
Before it cut a blessed tooth.
Morn after morn did you I study, 
In afternoons I've worn you too; 
I never let your tail get muddy,
For I had a cab when you were new.

And you, dear trousers, pray remember 
The ladies that sat on your knee,
But now you're gloomy as December, 
Yet still you travel on with me.
Your knees arc patched, and so's your ______ too, 
They'll no more take you up the flue;
You once were tight but now you're slack, too —
Think on the days when you were new.

And you, dear shoes, black as jet, too, 
You really are a loving pair,
Many a time you have been wet through, 
For I've took you with me everywhere.
Your soles have from your welts departed, 
And my poor toes are peeping through;
Your tops begin to look faint-hearted — 
I was better of when you were new

To you, dear shirt, I speak with feeling,
I long have worn you near my heart, 
But horrors now come near me stealing,
To think that you and I must part. 
Think how they washed you in the kitchen,
And now myself I rub you through; 
For better days I think you're itching -
Think on the days when you were new.

And you, dear gloves, my hands that sheltered, 
Still for me you hold your love;
Through the world, quite helter skelter, 
We've stuck together hand and glove.
From you, dear clothes, I part for ever, 
For a paupers suit of grey or blue.
For I must die in a Poor Law Union, 
In a suit I hate though they be now.


WHEN THESE OLD CLOTHES WERE NEW!

From undated sheet music published by Hart & Co, Patternoster Row, E.C.
(but 1890s from info in ad printed on back)

Eight years ago I looked a swell, sirs,
With walking cane and purse as long;
I quizzed the ladies in Pall Mall, sirs-
Alas, that game did not last long.
I married got, to my misfortune;
From that day every penny flew,
For soon I spent the marriage portion -
On my wedding day these old clothes were new!

We went to church, so blythe and merry -
This hat of mine was new and light;
We drink our crusted port, or sherry,
And ev'ry eye was beaming bright;
But you, poor hat, can tell the hist'ry
Of where we go, and what we do;
But how you stand it is a myst'ry-
Think of the days when you were new!

And you, poor coat, have got quite seedy;
I never cuffed you - speak the truth!
You cannot say that I was greedy
I filled your pocket, yes, forsooth
For every morning you I studied,
And after dinner open threw,
And seldom were your skirts e'er muddied-
I kept a trap when you were new.

And you, poor boots, were bright as any -
You really were a lovely pair;
Cleaning you've cost many a penny-
I took you with me ev'ry where;
But farewell to the soles departed,
For my poor toes they do peep through,
And you, poor tops, look quite faint-hearted -
How different now t'when you were new!

And you, poor gloves, my hands did shelter,
Yet still I hold you in my love;
We through the world went helter-skelter,
Like true friends living hand and glove -
But farewell, clothes, we part too soon,then,
For a pauper's suit, grey or blue;
I must die in a poor-law union.
In clothes I hate 'though perhaps quite new.

An early Music Hall song from the late 1850s collected in 1983 in N Ireland from the singing of Len Graham by Tom Munnelly.

The song was first performed in the Halls by Fred French whose brief biography appears below. Tt was also sung by  Tom Penneket, regular performer at Fleet Street’s Dr Johnson Concert Rooms in the late 1850s and early 1860s . It was an early example of the “broken-down swell song” – which made fun of a once prosperous dandy fallen on hard times – other examples include: Shabby Genteel, The Modern Swell’s Diary, Poor but a gentleman still, and I live in Trafalgar Square .

The song seems to have first been sung under the title A swell’s address to his clothes – eg it was performed by Fred French in October 1858 at The Surrey Music Hall, West Bar, Sheffield (Sheffield Daily Telegraph – 01 Dec 1858). Nine years later, in 1867, music publishers were advertising it as a “new song” – the song had been around for some time but it seems likely this was the first time it was published as sheet music:

We don’t have a definitive version of the words from 1858 or 1867, but all the surviving versions take the form of a series of stanzas each addressing a different item of the singer’s shabby clothes. The longest version I have found was published by the Poet’s Box (Glasgow) in 1876 – it consists of eight stanzas including ones dedicated to the singer’s trousers and one to his shirt. These two stanzas are omitted from all the sheet music and many other printings – it may be that making reference to “ladies that sat on your knee” was too racy for the respectable audience expected to buy sheet music, but that is pure speculation on my part!

The song seems to have remained popular through the second half of the 19th century. There were multiple editions of the sheet music, and many broadsides and songsters containing the song – both in America and Britain. There are also many UK newspaper reports of amateur performances.

Not to be confused with When my old hat was new (RN1693) an unrelated, older song probably from the very early 19th century.

Fred French (1830- 1899) was an extremely successful comic singer and actor who performed in the Halls of the 186os and 70s. He seems to have been more careful with his money than many of his contemporaries, and purchased the Grantham Arms on Dyer St. Leeds in 1872, running the pub until his death in 1899. He received an unusually long obituary in The Era:

MR FRED FRENCH, a well-known comic singer, who at one time had a considerable reputation, died on Tuesday. In the halls his name was associated with “Pretty Polly Perkins, of Paddington-Green,” and it  was with this song that he made his name at the Canterbury and elsewhere. Mr French, who had held the Licence of the Grantham Arms, Leeds for some years, died somewhat suddenly.. He was one of the existing links between the old and the new music hall days. About the year 1860 he was contemporary with Wallett, the Queen’s jester, George Leybourne, Alfred G Vance, and other well-known comedians. About thirty years ago he appeared with Arthur Lloyd and Harry Clifton, the cleverest motto singer we have ever had on the music hall boards, at the old Canterbury, and he was a great favourite at Sam Collins’s and other well-known London halls. At Thornton’s Varieties, Leeds – now known as in the City Varieties – he made a great hit, his favourite songs at the time being “When these old clothes were new,” and “Come along, do.” His most popular song, however, was “Pretty Polly Perkins,” the lay of a broken-hearted milkman. It had an immense vogue and was almost as popular in the drawing-room as at the concert halls.  MR FRENCH was also an actor of considerable ability. He played the part of Don Caesar De Bazan, and also took part in Shakespearian representations with success at the old theatre in Hunslet Road. The deceased comedian, though he entertained in the days of small salaries, had the gift of thrift, and he comfortably retired from the stage and entered into business as a  licensed victualler. The last time the deceased sang was about a month since, when he gave “Widow Macree” at a smoking concert held in his hotel.

The Era 25 Feb. 1899

Pretty Polly Perkins was one of many Harry Clifton songs that French performed – the two artistes seem to have a special arrangement- French was licensed to sing the songs in the Halls, whilst Clifton continued to sing them in his touring concert party. Other songs in his repertoire include:

• Angelina Brown (GW Hunt)
• Jessie the belle at the bar (George Ware)
• Martha the milkman’s daughter (GW Hunt)
• Paddle your own canoe (Harry Clifton)
• Work boys work and be contented (Harry Clifton)
• Where there’s a will there’s a way (Harry Clifton)

Sources:

• VWML entry
• Kilgarrif Sing Us
• Lyrics from UK Sheet Music: personal copy (c1890)
• US Sheet Music: Library of Congress
• Chance Newton: Idols of the Halls
• Stuart and Park: The Variety Stage

Last Updated on April 24, 2024 by John Baxter | Published: April 17, 2024