Just as I was getting into bed

From McGlennon's 1902 Song Annual

At ten last night I was blowing out the light,
And thinking of reposing;
Just married - me, so I, you see, 
Believe in early closing.
"Rat! tat; tat!" someone gave our knocker "jip"-
The wife says, "Perhaps my sister!"
When I crawls down and says, "Here, what's up?"
Some cove says "Muffins, mister?"

Just as I was getting into bed!
Just as I was getting into bed!
Someone comes to worry and alarm us;
Down pops me in my pyjamas!
Nice thing, wasn't it, for a young man newly wed?
Fancy coming round, to know if I'd like any muffins, 
Just as I was getting into bed!

I slammed that door and all up the stairs I swore,
He'd giv'n mo such a "shocker," 
When bang! hang! bang! some other fiend,
Played "Old Nick" with our knocker.
Down I went, and now what do you suppose?
To worry and excite me,
A former flame of my dear "old Dutch,"
Had just come round to fight me!
 
Just as I was getting into bed!
Just as I was getting into bed!
Someone comes to worry and alarm us;
Down pops me in my pyjamas! 
Nice thing, wasn't it, for a young man newly wed?
Fancy coming round to say he'd fight me for a dollar, 
Just as I was getting into bed!

Once more in bed I laid down my sleepy head,
But, just as I was snoring —
Oh! what a shame I a neighbour came
And nearly knocked tho door in! 
"Hi! hi! hi I there's a fire down the road —
If you don't come you oughter! 
You might just go and slip on your clothes,
And help us squirt the water!"

Just as I was getting into bed!
Just as I was getting into bed!
Someone comes to worry and alarm us;
Down pops me in my pyjamas! 
Nice thing, wasn't it, for a young man newly wed?
Fancy wanting me to go out squirting at a fire, 
Just as I was getting into bed!

I'd just said, "No, no, I ain't a-going to go,
And so, good-night, old feller:"
When — hark! the bell! and such a yell,
From my friend, Jimmy Mellor! 
"My old gal, oh! she's very, very bad 
In fact, I might say wusser;
You might pop up and ask your old gal,
If she'll pop round and nuss her?"

Just as I was getting into bed! Just 
Just as I was getting into bed!
Someone comes to worry and alarm us;
Down pops me in my pyjamas! 
Nice thing, wasn't it, for a young man newly wed?
Fancy him a-coming round to borrow my old woman, 
Just as I was getting into bed!