You’d better come down at once

Now Sandy was a Scotchman, and
One day, upon my soul
He went into a local fair, 
To climb the greasy pole
He wore a lovely tartan kilt
His white wash brush as well
He'd nearly reached the top, but oh!
He heard a policeman yell:

You'd better come down at once, you'd better come down at once;
For all the people down below
Are waiting about for the wind to blow
Oh! I say, you are a bit of a dunce
There's something thats making the people laugh, you'd better come down at once
[twice]

I never shall forget the day
When our house caught on fire,
And there upon the windowsill
Stood our old Aunt Maria
She seemed a bit afraid to venture
Down the fire escape
Until a fireman came and yelled
"Now then, you giddy ape:

You'd better come down at once, you'd better come down at once;

Now don't get standing in the breeze
With nothing but flames all round your knees
Oh! I say, you are a bit of a dunce
You ought to know better, you saucy cat, you'd better come down at once
[twice]

I've got a little pussy cat,
She's gentle, kind and good,
She mashes all the gentleman
Around the neighbourhood;
Twas in our backyard late last night
She sat a-making love
I heard her miaow to one Tom Cat
Upon the tiles above:

You'd better come down at once, you'd better come down at once;
If you stick in the chimney pots
I'm not going to show my beauty spots
Oh! I say, you are a bit of a dunce
If you are in the business to chase me Tom, you'd better come down at once
[twice]