{"id":23890,"date":"2024-03-12T11:35:03","date_gmt":"2024-03-12T11:35:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/folksongandmusichall.com\/?page_id=23890"},"modified":"2024-03-12T11:35:04","modified_gmt":"2024-03-12T11:35:04","slug":"faces","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/folksongandmusichall.com\/index.php\/faces\/","title":{"rendered":"Faces"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

This song reflects racist, misogynist and\/or colonial ideas that were commonplace at the time it was first written and performed but are no longer acceptable today<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

AKA<\/strong><\/td><\/td><\/tr>
First Published<\/td>1895<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

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Writer\/composer<\/td>Charles Osborne <\/td>Roud<\/strong><\/td>RN29821<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

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Music Hall Performers<\/strong><\/td>George Beauchamp<\/td><\/tr>
Folk performances<\/strong><\/td>Collected from the singing of:<\/strong>
Jones, Frank ; England : West Midlands ; 1984
Modern performances<\/strong>
<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n
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[From Sheet Music Published by Francis Day And Hunter]\n\nFACES\nAdapted to the music of \"The March of the Men of Harlech\" by Charles Osborne.\n\nI will sing a song on faces\nThat you see in different places,\nAt the Dogs' Home and the races,\nEverywhere you go...\nHave you noticed how they vary?\nSome are smooth and some are hairy,\nShapes of apes and just as wary\nDarwin tells us so...\nEverybody's got 'em, If you only spot 'em - \nEvery kind and size you find,\nThey worry you until you want to dot 'em -\nPrigs and preachers, Toffs and teachers\nWalking about with funny features ...\nMonkey Brand is good for bleachers, \nBut it won't wash clothes.\n\nSome you see are round and dimply, \nPlump as a lump of pudden simply, \nSome again are pinched and pimply,\nLike a cauliflower.\nSanctimonious folks have long 'uns, \nAll mankind to them are wrong 'uns, \nAs teetotallers they're strong 'uns-\nWhen the grapes are sour.\nSome are lantern-jawed 'uns\u2014others big and broad 'uns, \nWhen they laugh they fall in half;\nLike a nigger's or an old churchwarden's. \nMany a man that looks a good 'un\nHas got a face that's fairly wooden, \nLike a roley-poley pudden\nTrod on when its hot.\n\nAfter them you see the fat 'uns,\nPhizogs of peculiar patterns,\nSide by side with wide and flat 'uns\u00ac\nWhiskers round the rim.\nWatch the mug that shows the flunkey, \nSly as a fox and slightly funkey,\nWide and snide as a ring-tailed monkey \nKeep your eye on him.\nFaces loud and lanky \u2014 faces proud and cranky, \nDifferent jibs, like umbrella ribs,\nA mixture of a ferret and a Yankee; \nChiv's like easels \u2014 chiv's like weasels, \nPut you in mind of Sir Peter Teazle's -\nBeecham's Pills are good. for the measles \u2014\nOh! God save the Queen.\n\nLadies, too, upon my civvy,\nEach one wears a different chivvy,\nOne's as round as a youngster's mivvy -\nAlways on the smile.\nWatch the face of the maid of forty,\nReady to choke a joke that's naughty,\nWeak and cheap as a piano-fortee \nTroubled with the bile.\nSome have lovely faces \u2014 some have ugly traces,\nSome have chiv's like dustmen's sieves,\nThey make 'em up and fake 'em up in places.\nEverybody, without warning,\nHas to put up with the dial he's born in -\nGod save Ireland \u2014 oh! good morning \u2014\nHave you used Pears' Soap?\n<\/pre>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n
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A music hall song of the 1890s apparently only collected once from a traditional singer \u2013 from the singing of Frank Jones by Roy Palmer in 1975. Hopefully you will be able to hear it when the British Library Sound Archive is up and running again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The song was originally published in 1895, written by\u00a0Charles Osborne<\/a>\u00a0for the comedian George Beauchamp<\/a>. The words were sung to a famous Welsh tune from the 1790s Men of Harlech.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n
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Sources:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n