{"id":15405,"date":"2022-03-31T09:19:43","date_gmt":"2022-03-31T09:19:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/folksongandmusichall.com\/?page_id=15405"},"modified":"2022-03-31T09:19:46","modified_gmt":"2022-03-31T09:19:46","slug":"then-you-can-reckon-on-diddling-me","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/folksongandmusichall.com\/index.php\/then-you-can-reckon-on-diddling-me\/","title":{"rendered":"Then you can reckon on diddling me"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
AKA<\/strong><\/td>You can’t diddle me
Diddling me<\/td><\/tr>
First Published<\/td>1875<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

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Writer\/composer<\/td>Albert West<\/td>Roud<\/strong><\/td>RN23515<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Music Hall Performers<\/strong><\/td>Albert West<\/td><\/tr>
Folk performances<\/strong><\/td>Collected from the singing of:<\/strong>
Hamer, Fred?? TBC<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n
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YOU CAN'T DIDDLE ME.\n\nI came up to London a few months ago,\nThe way I was treated, I'll soon let you know,\nI had lots of money the sights for to see,\nYes! I did the grand when out on the spree,\nWhile walking one night, I quite forget where,\nI met a sweet damsel so young and so fair,\nShe said, good night Charley! she made me feel gay\nShe asked me to treat her, these words I did say.\n\nWait till Good-Friday on Whit-Monday falls\nWait till a tripe shop they make of St. Paul's\nWait till poor Roger sits on the Queen's knee\nThen you can reckon on diddling me.<\/em>\n\nThen I left this fair maiden, for she didn't suit me\nThen all of a sudden a big crowd I did see,\nThere was a chap with some purses stood on a chair\nWhen I did see him it made me to stare,\nHe tossed up a shilling, two shillings as well,\nInto the purse he said it did fall,\nA bob for the lot, he thought I would buy,\nI guess'd it a swindle, so made this reply.\n\nThe time's not arrived yet, its rather too soon\nWait till Christmas day does fall in June,\nWait till the Man in the Moon you can see,\nThen you can reckon on diddling me.<\/em>\n\nThen I walk'd about till I felt rather dry,\nI went into a pub some ale for to buy,\nThey all stared at me, they thought I was green,\nBut I very soon told them all, what I did mean,\nI put down a sovereign, I thought it look'd strange\nSome big chap he tried to pick up my change,\nI put it into my pocket, said, its mine as you see,\nThough I be from the country, you can't diddle me\n\nWait till the Shah comes to England again,\nAnd sell schokalones down Petticoat Lane,\nWait till Kenealy Sir Roger set's free,\nThen you can reckon on diddling me.<\/em>\n\nI went to the play to see Hamlet you know,\nWhen it was all over straight home I did go,\nThree fellows they stopped me with their artful game,\nThey tried to kid me with a snide watch and chain\nThey said it was gold, thinks I: that's a lie.\nThey said give us a pound the lot you can buy,\nI said not for Charley and left them you see,\nYou may try all you can, but you don't diddle me\n\nWait till our postmen get better pay,\nWait till a pig on a banjo can play,\nWait till no more little babies we see,\nThen you can reckon on diddling me.<\/em>\n\nNow my landlady's daughter is a nice girl you see,\nTwo or three Sunday's with her I have tea,\nShe has a young baby, she seems very glad,\nBut she's got the nerve to say I'm its dad,\nI know I have kissed, times two or three,\nBut I know that dear baby don't belong to me,\nShe may try all she can this damsel so gay,\nFor another chaps courting I don't mean to pay.\n\nWait till a snail can run like an horse,<\/em>\nWait till the Prince of Wales gets a divorce,\nWait till Mrs. Prodger's and cabmen agree,\nThen you can reckon on diddling me.<\/em>\n\nAs you travel through life be careful each one,\nTake care of your selves and mind that you ain't done,\nTo be wide awake is the motto for me,\nThey can all do their best but can't diddle me,\nSince I've been in London chaps, I have to contrive\nI know how many beans there is to make five,\nI mean to be jolly, light hearted and free,\nYou must get up very early to get over me.\n\nSo wait till your cocks refuses to crow,\nWait till to your Uncles you never go,\nWait till old England from poverty is free,\nThen you can reckon on diddling me.<\/em><\/pre>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n
The song reproduced above appears on several British broadsides which all  seem to have been printed in the last quarter of the 19th century. This is almost certainly the song that was first sung under the title “Then you can reckon on diddling me”<\/em> written and performed by Mr Albert West in 1874. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
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London and Provincial Entr’acte – Saturday 19 December 1874<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
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London and Provincial Entr’acte – Saturday 10 April 1875<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
The song subsequently seems to have been widely sung by amateur singers – there are records of performances of songs called “You can’t diddle me”<\/em>, “Diddling me”<\/em> and “Then you can reckon on diddling me”<\/em> (which I think it is reasonable to assume are all the same song) throughout the 1880s and 1890s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Its one of a number of Music Hall songs suggesting that rural visitors to the capital might not be as gullible as might be assumed. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The song contains several topical references which reinforce the suggestion that its a song from the mid 1870s:<\/p>\n\n\n\n