{"id":11149,"date":"2021-06-03T13:03:17","date_gmt":"2021-06-03T13:03:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/folksongandmusichall.com\/?page_id=11149"},"modified":"2025-12-19T07:53:45","modified_gmt":"2025-12-19T07:53:45","slug":"other-department-please-the","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/folksongandmusichall.com\/index.php\/other-department-please-the\/","title":{"rendered":"Other department please, The"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
First Published<\/td>1912<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Writer\/composer<\/td>Worton David \/ Bert Lee<\/td>Roud<\/strong><\/td>RN16736<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
Music Hall Performers<\/strong><\/td>Harry Fragson<\/td><\/tr>
Folk performances<\/strong><\/td>Collected from the singing of:<\/strong>
Williams, Tommy; England : Suffolk; mid-1960s
Modern performances<\/strong>
Cosmotheka<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n
\n
I promised the wife the other day  \nA yard of lace I'd bring  \nFrom one of those Department Stores  \nWhere they sell ev'rything:  \nSo if you've got an hour or two  \nOr three or four to spare,  \nI'll tell you just exactly  \nAll the things that happened there:  \n\nI went to Counter Number One,  \nThe shopman said, 'How do?  \nIt's been a lovely day today,  \nWhat can I do for you?'  \nI said, 'I want a yard of lace  \nTo match this for the wife.'  <\/em>\n\n'All right' said he - 'now here you see  \nAn easy chair - and china ware  \nSome pictures rare - a bob the pair -  \nAnd here I've got - a baby's cot \nIt's made for one, but holds a lot,  \nI think you'll find it meets the case,  \nBut if you're only wanting lace  \nThe other department, if you please,  \nStraight on and up the stairs.' \n\nSo up the stairs I went at once,  \nThe shopman said, 'How do? \nIt's been a lovely day today,  \nWhat can I do for you?' \nI said 'I want a yard of lace  \nTo match this for the wife.'  \n'All right' said he - 'now here you see  <\/em>\n\nSome bowler hats - and choice cravats  \nSome shirts galore - at one and four, \nWith tails we charge you sixpence more  \nAnd lots and lots of ties with spots  \nAnd sailor's knots, with purple dots,  \nBut if it's lace that you require,  \nYou'll have to mount a little higher,  \nThe other department, if you please,  \nStraight on and up the stairs. \n\nSo up the stairs I went again,  \nThe shopman said, 'How do?  \nIt's been a lovely day today,  \nWhat can I do for you?'  \nI said 'I want a yard of lace  \nTo match this for the wife.'  <\/em>\n\n'All right' said he - now here you see \nUpon this floor - we've books galore; \nNow here's a book - that's worth a look  \n'All men are Liars' by Doctor Cook;  \nSmyth Pigott's book, 'Why Woman Sins,'  \nA sequel to 'The Heavenly Twins,'  \nAnother here - 'What Winston Did,'  \nAppropriately bound in 'Kid:'  \nBut if it's lace you want to buy \nI'm much afraid you'll have to try  \nThe other department, if you please,  \nStraight on and up the stairs. \n\nSo up the stairs I went again,  \nThe shopman said 'How do? \nIt's been a lovely day today, \nWhat can I do for you?'  I said, \n'I want a yard of lace  \nTo match this for the wife.'  <\/em>\n\n'All right' said he - now here you see  \nSome marmalade - of ev'ry shade  \nA lovely cheese - that walks with ease  \nCreates a breeze - and warbles glees  \nWe've ham and lamb - and pots of jam  \nAnd potted meat from Uncle Sam;  \nAnd pickled pork, that's learnt to talk,  \nAnd eggs - God bless the Duke of York!  \nBut if it's lace you've come to get,  \nYou'll have to travel higher yet,  \nThe other department, if you please,  \n\nStraight on and up the stairs. \nSo up the stairs I went again,  \nThe shopman said, 'How do? \nIt's been a lovely day today,  \nWhat can I do for you?  \nI said 'I want a yard of lace  \nTo match this for the wife.'  <\/em>\n\n'Alright' said he, 'now here you see  \nSome ladies' socks - with fancy clocks  \nThey're simply prime - they never chime,  \nBut when it rains you see the time  \nWe've blouses rare - beyond compare  \nThey're rather bare - just here and there \nBut as they let in lots of air,  \nWe've christened them 'Maud Allan' 'wear: \nBut if it's lace you're anxious for,  \nYou'll find it on the bottom floor, \nThe other department, if you please,  \n\nStraight on and down the stairs. \nThen down the stairs I went again,  \nI found the place at last;  \nThe shopman murmured, 'What's for you?' \nMy heart was beating fast: \nI said 'I want a yard of lace  \nTo match this for the wife.'  <\/em>\n\nI've never had a search like this \nBefore in all my life;'  \nThen as a smile spread over his face,  \nI handed to him that sample of lace:  \n'I want a yard like that, sir,' I cried,  \nBut he with clarion voice replied,  \n'I'm sorry, sir, to put you about, \nBut that kind of lace, sir...  \nI've just sold out.  \n\n<\/pre>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n
A song written by Worton David <\/a>and Bert Lee<\/a>, performed in the Halls by Harry Fragson. It was recorded at the time in two slightly different versions by both Fragson and Harry Bluff. The song makes passing reference to Maud Allan the performer famous for her <\/em>scantily clad Dance of the seven veils<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In the folk world it was collected from the singing of Tommy Williams by Neil Lanham in the mid 60s and is still available on the Helions Bumpstead CD Lavenham<\/em><\/a>. It was later recorded by Cosmotheka on their album You only had to ask<\/em> – see the clip from BBCs Pebble  Mill below!<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n