| AKA | A fine big woman |
| First Published | c1882 |
| Writer/composer | JF Mitchell | Roud | RN18290 |
| Music Hall Performers | Walter Munroe |
| Folk performances | Collected from the singing of: Quinn, Frank ; USA / Ireland ; 1926 unknown singer ; Ireland : Co. Cork ; 1960 Hartland, Ray ; England : Gloucestershire ; 1978 Judge, Patsy / Judge, Bride ; Canada : Newfoundland ; 1978 Armstrong, James ; Ireland : Co. Wexford : 1908 |
Wehman's Universal Songster No 9 (available from traditionalmusic.co.uk)
TWELVE STONE TWO.
I feel so dreadful nervous
That I'm frightened of my life,
For by this time to-morrow,
I'll be fastened to a wife;
An agricultural Irish girl
That's twice the size of me;
Upon my word I'm doubtful
What the consequence will be.
She's a fine big woman.
And she knows that same,
And early in the morning
She'll possess my name;
But I feel so dreadful nervous,
I don't know what to do.
For to-morrow I must buckle
On the twelve stone two.
I would like to break the contract off,
But that would never do;
My life would not be worth two straws,
Between myself and you;
I don't think she'd put me in
A breach of promise case,
But with her big fist she'd make
The breaches on my face.
She made me drunk at Sullivan's,
Then sat upon my knee;
Just imagine twelve stone two
On a little chap like me;
Twas she done all the courting,
I had not one word to say,
So like a helpless little lamb,
I gave myself away.
A song with its origins in the British Music Hall, which according to British newspapers was originally sung by Walter Munroe, with words and music by JF Mitchell.
Mr. Walter Munroe … commenced with a song, entitled, “Don’t Blame the Mother for the Faults of Her Children” which was capitally rendered, and gained applause on all sides. ‘‘ Twelve Stone Two’’ is the title of his second ditty, the success of which was dwarfed by the excellence of his dancing which followed, and which was watched with evident enjoyment.
Cambridge Music Hall (London), London and Provincial Entr’acte – 09 Sep 1882
The song also appeared under the title “A Fine Big Woman”, both in street literature like this song-sheet, and in the newspapers (see below). The song must have been reasonably successful, as JF Mitchell wrote the very similar song, The Agricultural Irish Girl which Munroe started singing in 1884.
In 1926 Frank Quinn (an Irish American police officer?) recorded Twelve Stone Tw0 (Columbia 33080-F):
Sources:
- Entries in the Roud Indexes at the Vaughn Williams Memorial Library: https://archives.vwml.org/search/all:single[folksong-broadside-books]/0_50/all/score_desc/extended-roudNo_tr%3A18290
- Ballad Index
- Mudcat Thread
- Song-sheet: The word on the street
- Kilgarrif Sing Us
- Lyrics: Wehman’s Universal Songster No 9 (available from traditionalmusic.co.uk)
- Sheet Music : Not Found
Last Updated on July 20, 2025 by John Baxter | Published: July 20, 2025
