Things that a man can’t do

From the Weekly Dispatch, which published a song a week between 1903 and 1917: 

A woman is a creature who can do a lot of things
Things that a man can't do
Every time I see a woman, to my mind it always brings
Things that a man can't do
A parrot talks a little, but a man can talk a lot
A woman can talk until she drives you off your dot
Fellows think they get the best of women but they don't,
To make a woman do a thing when she says she won't

That's what a man can't do, do, do, do
That's what a man can't do
When you see the parson on your wedding day,
He says you must get your wife to honour and obey
That's all right for him to say - but -
That's what a man can't do, do, do, do
That's what a man can't do

A woman does a lot of things for matrimonial bliss,
Things that a man can't do
She can square the tallyman by giving him a kiss,
That's what a man can't do
When the kids begin to cry it makes the father wild
He gets the feeding bottle tries to pacify the child
The woman picks the baby up, but doesn't stop to think,
She knows exactly what to do when baby wants a drink

That's what a man can't do, do, do, do
That's what a man can't do
Woman with a figure and a lovely face
As an artist's  model she can always get a place
Pose as Venus full of grace
That's what a man can't do, do, do, do
That's what a man can't do

A woman she can do her golden hair up in a bun
That's what a man can't do
A woman can declare that she's the mother of a son
That's what a man can't do
A woman is very smart when there's a mystery about
She'll try to keep a secret, but she can't she lets it out
She can tell you what's inside a sack of coal 
But cannot tell you what's inside a penny sausage roll

That's what a man can't do, do, do, do
That's what a man can't do
He can do a lot of funny things I'm sure
Stop a parrot talking if he throws it to the floor 
But to stop a woman's jaw - 
That's what a man can't do, do, do, do
That's what a man can't do

To stop a woman going down your pocket for your purse
That's what a man can't do
A woman can always get a job as monthly nurse
That's what a man can't do
Always let the woman do the shopping if you can,
She can do it cheaper than the silly little man
A woman's only got to show a little bit of lace,
To make a lot of Johnnies follow her about the place.

That's what a man can't do, do, do, do
That's what a man can't do
A fellow goes to work he is the poor old Jay
Goes without breakfast he hasn't time to stay 
His wife lies in bed all day - 
That's what a man can't do, do, do, do
That's what a man can't do