There’s bound to be a row

AKA There’s sure to be a row
First Published c1870
Writer/composer Samuel Watson Roud RN1616

Music Hall Performers JW Rowley
Georgina Smithson
(Jennie Engel)
Folk performances Selected source Singers
Scott, Willie 1962 Scotland : Roxburghshire
Cox, Harry 1965 England : Norfolk
Scott, Willie 1967 Scotland
McBeath, Jimmy 1971 Scotland : Morayshire
Nash, Frankie 1975 Canada : Newfoundland		 

Taken from Poets Box (Glasgow) broadside dated Dec 1871

I'm a poor unlucky married man, I've such an awful wife, 
To please her I do all I can, but still she plagues my life; 
If I do everything that's right, she'll find a fault somehow, 
And if I but stay out all night, there's bound to be a row.

There's bound to be a row, there's bound to be a row, 
Do all in life to please my wife, there's bound to be a row.

She wakes me in the morning in an awful cruel way.
She kicks me on the floor, and not a cross word do I say; 
And I have to wash my stockings, and my shirts and fronts, I vow,
And if I don't, wash hers as well there's bound to be a row,

She's taken in a lodger, and he's single by-the-by,
She says I must make room for him, and on the sofa lie; 
They eat the meat, give me the bones, that don't seem right somehow,
But if I dared say half as much, there's bound to be a row.

Sometimes she gives a party to some friends, they dine at eight,
And I've to hurry home from work, to be in time to wait; 
And when they bustle me about, if I doesn't scrape and bow, 
And say, yes sir, and thank you please, there's bound to be a row

When I've earned my wages, after working all the week,
I turn every ha'penny in, and then she has the cheek 
To give me two pence for myself, and for that I have to bow;
But if I spend it all at once, there's bound to be a row

A song well-known in both sides of the Atlantic, sung by Irish, Scottish and English traditional singers. It was widely published in 19th-century songbooks and broadsides and appears to be a song written for our old friend JW Rowley, a Yorkshire comedian who was active in the halls in the 1870s and 80s. Rowley was responsible for popularising several songs well-known in traditional music including The Birds upon the Trees, and Eggs For Your Breakfast in the Morning.

Despite the song’s association with Rowley, first published evidence of the song being sung in the halls was in 1871, when , Georgina Smithson sang what was likely to be the “ladies version” which reversed the gender roles. This review comes from 1873:

The Era Oct 26 1873

Given the contemporary quotation of Smithson’s Song, I suspect it had a chorus along the lines of There’s bound to be a row, there’s bound to be a row, Do all you can to please some men, there’s bound to be a row”.

The earliest reference I can find to JW Rowley singing it is in 1872:

The Era June 16 1872

Sheet music held in the British Library suggests the song was written and composed by Samuel Watson – a bit of a mystery who appears only to have written this song. [Samuel Watson was the name of an equestrian gymnast active in the 1870s, but I have no evidence that he was a singer or songwriter.]

The version of the lyrics provided here appears to be a reasonably early version, with just five verses. However, like so many songs from the Halls, it’s designed to make it easy to add new material: the version in volume 4 of Mercier’s Old Irish Street Ballads has a total of eight.

Harry Cox sings a five verse version:

Sources: