There was “two legs” sitting on “three legs”

Now one dry night I went to have a "wet"
In the "Whale and Winkle Arms;"
I'd got a quart pot near my chin 
When a bloke who was "potty on the can" came in. 
Poor old chap! he wanted a shave, 
His pants had whiskers too; 
Stood upon his head - he did, no kid!
And he crowed like a cock-a-doodle-doo! 
When I turned my face away 
He drank up all my ale,
But I thought it great when he pinched my change,
And then told me this tale

There was two legs sitting on three legs
One leg in his hand, - 
Up came four legs, he bit two legs,
Then grabbed one leg - understand?
Two legs missed his one leg, -
Picked up three legs, followed five legs,
Threw three legs after five legs
Gave four legs a smack;
Four legs felt that three legs,
Hopped on three legs, dropped that one leg, -
That's how poor old two legs 
Got his one leg back

When I wont out, he followed me about,
Till a man in uniform,
Captured the bloke with just one grab,
And he said, as he put him in a four-wheeled cab, 
"From our mad-house he's done a bunk, —
He's cracked, as sure as eggs
When he's in the town the kids ain't safe, 
He's got such a mania for legs.
All day in the padded room
He sits and catches flies,
And the old crackpot, with a pair of tongs,
Pulls out their	legs and cries, -

Now, this poor man he kept a butcher's shop, 
And he had two legs, you see;
Once, on a three-legged stool he sat,
With a nice leg of mutton that was not too fat. 
While he scraped that meat with a knife,
A four-legged dog came by,
Bit him in the legs, then up the street
With the one leg of mutton did a guy.
Now, of course, you know the rest, —
He claimed his leg again;
When he hit that dog with the three-legged stool 
He got legs on the brain.