Swim Sam Swim

Once I was a sailor, a sailor big and broad.
I shipped aboard a whaler, and tumbled overboard.
I shouted: 'Someone save me! 'Someone said: 'Go hang!
The sharks are sniffing round you.' Then my shipmates sang:

"Swim Sam swim!
Show them you're some swimmer!
Swim just like a swan Sam!
You know how the swan swam.
Six sharp sharks are going to snap your limbs.
So swipe them swiftly when they swoop
And swim Sam swim!'

So I swam with vigour; the race had just begun.
Sharks all eyed my figure; 'All jelly,' shouted one.
Some old portly porpoise popped up in the foam;
Shouted: 'If you want to catch your last train home,
 
Sharks all heard the chorus and said while in the brine,
Ragtime did it for us, but by gum this is fine!'
They fluttered with their esses until they got lockjawed,
So then I left them singing as I climbed on board:

An early 20th century Music Hall number, still widely sung in the south-east of England a hundred years later. It features on the CD Comic songs of the Stour Valley, which celebrates the songs sung in Suffolk pubs in the mid-1960s, as collected by Neil Lanham.

It was written by the prolific Weston and Lee and sung in the Halls by Jay Laurier (1879-1969), whose career was summarised by by MacQueen Pope:

Jay Laurier is another who had grand songs, now he is one of the best Shakespearean clown actors we have. He used to sing all sorts of odd ballads, often about food and his large person, in eccentric clothes. His homely and simple manner, all added to his audience control. “I do like S’nice Mince Pies” he declared and also asked “Play me a tricky tickly tune” to remind him of treacle pudding. He had his own way of describing he was in love too. And now he’s one of the best Dogberries anybody could wish to see

MacQueen Pope : Melody Lingers p380