Spider and the fly, The

From Comic Songs by Thomas Hudson (1824)

The spider and the fly
Tune: Will you come to the bower?

"Will you walk into my parlour?" said a spider to a fly;
"'Tis the prettiest little parlour that ever you did spy.
You've only got to pop your head with inside of the door, 
You'll see so many curious things you never saw before,
 
Will you, will you, will you, will you walk in pretty fly?
Will you, will you, will you, will you walk in pretty fly?

"My house is always open. (says the Spider to the Fly)
I'm glad to have the company of all I see go by."
"They go in, but don't come out again — I've heard of you before."
"Oh yes, they do. I always let them out at my back door,
 
"Will you grant me one sweet kiss? (then says the Spider to the Fly)
To taste your charming lips, I've a cu-ri-os-i-ty."
(Said the Fly,) "If once our lips did meet, a wager I would lay,
Of ten to one you would not after let them come away."

"If you won't kiss, will you shake hands? (says the Spider to the Fly)
Before you leave me to myself, with sorrow sad to sigh."
(Says the Fly,) "There's nothing handsome unto you belongs.
I declare you should not touch me, even with a pair of tongs."

"What handsome wings you've got! (says the Spider to the Fly)
If I had got such a pair, I in the air would fly.
'Tis useless all my wishing, and only idle talk.
You can fly up in the air, while I'm obliged to walk.

"For the last time now I ask you, will you walk in, Mr. Fly?"
"No, if I do may I be shot. I'm off, so now goodbye."
Then up he springs, but both his wings were in the web caught fast.
The Spider laugh'd, "Ha, ha, my boy, I have you safe at last.

Will you, will you, will you, will you walk out, pretty Fly?
Will you, will you, will you, will you walk out, pretty Fly?

"And pray how are you now? (says the Spider to the Fly)
You fools will never wisdom get, unless you dearly buy.
'Tis vanity that ever makes repentance come too late,
And you who into cobwebs run, surely deserve your fate.

Listen to me, listen to me, foolish Fly."
Listen to me, listen to me, foolish Fly."

MORAL. 
Now all young men take warning by this foolish little Fly.
Pleasure is the Spider, that to catch you fast will try;
For altho' you may think that my advice is quite a bore,
You're lost if you stand parleying outside of Pleasure's door.

Remember, oh remember the foolish little Fly.
Remember, oh remember the foolish little Fly.

1888 version
Sung by The Great Vance
[From McGlennon's Star Song Book No1, March 1888]

Gussie Softpate was a masher,
Pals called him the masher king;
Strolling down the street one evening,
Gussie met a charming thing.
Sweet sixteen so young and tender;
Gussie bowed and said, "How do," 
Thought because she blushed he'd mashed her,
Then he murmured "I love you,"

Will you walk into my parlour said the spider to the fly,
Will you walk into my parlour and the spider winked his eye,
If you don't come in my parlour for love of you I'll die,
Said the tricky tricky spider to the foolish foolish fly.

Gussie said, we'll have some supper, 
So they went into the Cri;
Had the usual cham and oysters,
How she drank, this simple fly, 
Down her swan-like throat like water
Flowed the fizz, the bi-valves too; 
As he tried the cost to reckon,
Gussie's face looked rather blue.

Gussie spooned upon the maiden, 
And the maiden spooned on Gus:
Gussie thought he had her fairly, 
Oh the sly and wicked puss;
They had bottle after bottle, 
Drinking Chain, she took the cake;
Then poor Gus got very sleepy, 
But the fly was wide awake.

Off to sleep at length he tumbled,
And he slept an hour or two; 
When he woke the fly had vanished,
Gone, and never said adieu; 
Gone also his watch and money!
But she'd left a note by-by, 
Kind regards you tricky spider,
Yours the simple simple fly.

Will you walk into my parlour said the spider to the fly,
Will you walk into my parlour and the spider winked his eye,
But she walked out of his parlour and the spider said oh my,
I'm a foolish foolish spider to be diddled by a fly.