Shift up a little bit farther

My uncle Jimmy has got a beautiful ruby tinted nose
Scotch, of, course, is out of the question, uncle says he’s got indigestion.
Once he stood at a railway crossing to watch the trains go by.
A railway porter standing near came up and shouted “Hi

Shift up a little bit farther, shift a little bit farther up.
At this spot there soon will arrive a
Fast express, you’ll worry the driver
With that terrible nose, it’s like a danger light.
So, shift a little bit farther, father, farther out of sight”.

Well I went out with some friends of mine in a brand new motor car.
We was going from London to Dover, but before the journey was over,
Something seemed to go wrong with our machines inside.
Agricultural labourers came to us and shouted “Hi

Shift up a little bit farther, shift a little bit farther up.
We never thought a traveling tinker
Could be such a tiddley-winker.
We’ve no kettles and pots for you to mend today,
So shift a little bit farther, father, farther on your way”.

It was down at Winkleton-Super-Mare on a lovely summer’s day,
People was gazing out in the ocean, they was causing quite a commotion.
What’s that strange old object there, a new sea monster p’raps?
Well I dashed up to them and said “Look here, you girls and chaps

Shift up a little bit farther, shift a little bit farther up.
What you seem to think is a sort a
Curiosity in the water,
That’s my missus and she’ll be out in half a jiff,
So, shift a little bit farther, father, farther round the cliff”.

My aunt Maria is fairly heavy, she weighs a tidy lump.
Aunty, last bank holiday, tried a
Donkey ride and all of us guide her.
She jumped up on the donkey’s back, but the brute refused to stir.
He nods his head and winks his eye and then remarks to her:

“Shift up a little bit farther, shift a little bit farther up.
Please excuse me being so grumpy,
But you are a little bit lumpy.
I can’t waggle my tail, the flies give me the hump,
So, shift a little bit farther, father, farther off my stump”.