Rhymes [limerick song]

I'm just about to hold the competition,
It's just a little bright idea of mine,
I'm going to write a rhyming composition'
And then leave you to add the ending line;
I'll sing the whole thing first in case of doubt,
The second time I'll leave the last line out.

There was a young lady of the Ealing
Who walked upside-down on the ceiling,
She fell on her neck
And she shouted "By heck!
It's a very peculiar feeling!

That was a cute little rhyme,
Sing us another one do...

There was a young fellow of Cosham,
Who took out his false teeth to wash 'em,
His wife said "Oh Jack!"
If you don't put them back
La da da da da da  da da da da.

That was a cute little rhyme,
Sing us another one do...

There was a young man of Calcutta,
Who was having a sleep in the gutter,
The heat from the sun
Burnt him up like a bun
La da da da da da  da da da da.

That was a cute little rhyme,
Sing us another one do...

There was a young man from Kildare,
Who was playing at golf on a chair,
On the very last stroke,
Why the blessed chair broke,
La da da da da da  da da da da.

My limericks must have met with approbation
The fact you listened to them tells me so
I hope to win still further admiration 
By giving you a few more that I know;
And let me say my motto's always been
I may not be clever, but I'm clean..

[EXTRA CHORUSES]

There was a young man of Saint Pauls 
Who once did a turn on the Halls, 
His favourite trick
Was to stand on a stick 
La da da da da da  da da da da.

That was a cute little rhyme,
Sing us another one do...

There was a young fellow named Skinner 
Who once took a girl out to dinner,
At a quarter to nine
They sat down to dine, 
La da da da da da  da da da da.

That was a cute little rhyme,
Sing us another one do...

There was a young man of South Wales 
Who lived upon fruit juice and snails, 
When he couldn't get these—
He lived upon cheese,
La da da da da da  da da da da.

That was a cute little rhyme,
Sing us another one do...

There was a young lady of Hitchin,
Who was scratching her nose in the kitchen, 
Her mother said "Rose,
Gnats I suppose?"
La da da da da da  da da da da.

That was a cute little rhyme,
Sing us another one do...

There was a young lady of Gloucester 
Who's parents thought they had lost her, 
But it came to pass
She was found on the grass
La da da da da da  da da da da.

That was a cute little rhyme,
Sing us another one do...

There was a young man of Belgrave 
Who was having a rest in a cave, 
He said "I admit 
I'm a bit of a nit" 
La da da da da da  da da da da.

That was a cute little rhyme,
Sing us another one do...

There was a young girl of Cathcart 
Who made a most wonderful tart, 
Clay from a pit,
Donkey's harness and grit, 
La da da da da da  da da da da.

That was a cute little rhyme,
Sing us another one do...

There was a young lady of Kent
Who was always behind with the rent, 
The landlord said "Miss,
Give me a kiss—"
La da da da da da  da da da da.

That was a cute little rhyme,
Sing us another one do...


There was a young fellow of Chislehurst
Before he could sing had to whistle first
One hot day in June
He forgot the darn tune
La da da da da da  da da da da.

That was a cute little rhyme,
Sing us another one do...