Maid and the magpie, The

From Broadside in Frank Kidson collection VWML

Now once there was a maid kept an old magpie,
And a parson who prayed lived very close by;
When this maid met the parson they both stopped to talk
And often on the quiet go for a cosy walk;
But her lover was a sailor, who sailed across the main,
And he promised she would be his wife when he returned again,
Still she let the parson see her home from church,
And kiss her never thinking of the magpie on the perch.

The maid and the magpie would talk all the day.
The maid would believe all the magpie would say,
She said I love the parson, but don't you tell the tar."
When the old magpie only said, "Quar, quar!"

Now while this sailor was away so the story goes,
This maid flirts with the parson but of course nobody knows,
Until she tells the magpie when talking one day,
She'd rather have the parson now the sailor is away,
But she said don't tell this secret or I'll give you the birch,
Every night at nine I meet the parson by the church,
The magpie only quar-quar'd as he had done before,
But he meant to tell a sailor boy when he returned on shore

While stationed at Gibraltar the sailor so it seems,
When sleeping in his cosy bunk he had some funny dreams;
He dreamt the girl he left behind on dear old England's shore,
Would whilst he was away flirt with half a dozen more
So he made his passage homeward, as quickly as could be,
Landed safely at her house but no maiden could he see;
He then talked to the magpie who was dancing on the perch,
And the magpie told him all about the parson at the church.

Now when the sailor met the maiden he passed her with disdain,
So she sued for breach of promise, tried five hundred to obtain;
But he brought the magpie into court, which told the truthful tale,
So to get what she required the maiden did fail.
She then went for the parson but in vain for him did search,
For he knew which way the wind blew so he hooked it from the church;
The lawyers couldn't find him, so the case went on the shelf,
And this tricky little maiden had to dwell by herself.

The maid and the magpie ne'er talk all this day,
For the jolly little sailor took the knowing bird away;
And now, with all his shipmates, this rare good-hearted tar,
While the magpie tells the truthful tale, he sings - "Quar! Quar!"
 

A song written for the Halls which seems to have passed into the oral tradition, collected from several traditional singers in southern England, and once collected in Australia.

The maid and the magpie was written by WH Phillips and was first sung by Harry Yorke in late 1878: