I saw Esau Kissing Kate

The Country Cousin, Or
I SAW ESAU KISSING KATE.
[Glasgow Poet's Box, 16 July 1870]

'Twas just about a year ago, when I was down at Glo'ster,
I found a lass-but now, alas! I find that I have lost her.
I'm sure I never can forget the happy days that we saw,
Before the day on which we met her country cousin, Esau.

Spoken- For it was on that unlucky day that -

I saw Esau kissing Kate.
And the fact is we all three saw;
For I saw Esau, he saw me,
And she saw I saw Esau.

I'd rather go without my beer, or even get my sconce hurt
Than ever go to hear a Crystal Palace concert,
For I took Kitty there, and then, unfortunately she saw
That horridest of country men, her country cousin, Esau.

Spoken- But even then I never thought I should have to say: 
[Chorus]

She introduced this man to me, and soon, behind a statue,
I saw what made me audibly sing out "I'm looking at you!"
'Tis sad indeed to have to state what poor, unlucky me saw;
For there was Esau kissing Kate, And Kate was kissing Esau.

Spoken- Yes, they had commenced the business arithmetically;
they began with simple Addition and, went right through subtraction, and would have gone on to Multiplication, had it not been, been that- 
[Chorus.]

"Is this why you both quitted me?" said I, "you little tartar!"
"Oh, yes," said she, "the Rule of Three is not so good as Barter.
I went to school with him," she said, "And used to play at see-saw;
So, if you please, I think I'll wed my country cousin, Esau."

Spoken- Well, said I, I came to a concert, but this is a concerted piece I didn't expect to see; I scarcely knew what to say, for it was
enough to disconcert me altogether when- 
[Chorus.]

I went away in quite a pet and toddled home to tea, oh!
Was quite upset by their duet, Which put me up a tree, oh!
But still my sorrow wasn't great when in the papers we saw,
That Mr. Esau'd married Kate, and Kate had married Esau.
 
Spoken- Oh, yes, I've quite recovered now, and am courting a prettier girl, but still it is not pleasant to reflect upon the day when - 
[Chorus.]