How’ya Gonna Keep ’em Down on the Farm

AKA How you gonna keep ’em
First Published 1919
Writer/composer Sam Lewis and Joe Young / Walter Donaldson Roud RN25956

Music Hall Performers Dorothy Ward
Folk performances Collected from the singing of:
Baxter, Bill ; Australia: New South Wales ; 1983
Hall, Mabs ; England: Sussex ; 1989		 

"Reuben, Reuben, I’ve been thinking,” said his wifey dear;
“Now that all is peaceful and calm,soon our boys will be back on the farm.”
Mister Reuben started winking,and slowly rubbed his chin;
He pulled his chair up close to Mother,asked her with a grin:

How ya gonna keep 'em down, oh no?
How ya gonna keep 'em down, oh no, oh no
How ya gonna keep 'em away from Broadway?
Jazzin' around, and painting the town?
How ya gonna keep 'em away from harm?
That’s the mystery;
They’ll never want to see a rake or a plow, and who the deuce can parley-vous a cow?
And how ya gonna keep ’em down on the farm, after they’ve seen Paris?


“Reuben, Reuben, you’re mistaken,” said his wifey dear;
“Once a farmer, always a jay, and farmers always stick to the hay.”
“Mother Reuben, I’m not fakin', though you may think it strange.
But wine and women play the mischief, with a boy who’s loose with change!”


Oh, how ya gonna keep ’em down, oh no, oh no
Oh, how ya gonna keep 'em down?
How ya gonna keep 'em away from Broadway?
Jazzin' around, and painting the town?
How ya gonna keep ’em away from harm?
That’s the mystery.
Imagine Reuben when he meets his pa; he'll pinch his cheek and holler "Ooh la la!"
How you gonna keep 'em down on the farm after they've seen Paris, Paris?

A Tin Pan Alley song popularised on the American vaudeville stage by Sophie Tucker. It also featured in the repertoire of American performer Eddie Cantor. In the British Halls and pantomimes it was most associated with the singing of Dorothy Ward.

In the 1940s it was revived by Judy Garland and others. It has been recorded by many different singers over the years.

In the 1980s John Meredith collected it in Australia from the singing of Bill Baxter whilst in England, Roy Palmer collected it from the singing of Mabs Hall.

An early US recording by Nora Bayes:

Sources: