Future Mrs ‘Awkins, The

I knows a little donah, I'm about to own 'er
She's agoin' to marry me
At fust she said she wouldn't, then she said she couldn't
Then she whispered “Well I'll see”
Sez I “Be Missis 'Awkins, Missis 'En'ry 'Awkins
Or across the seas I'll roam
So 'elp be Bob I'm crazy, Lizer you're a daisy
Won't yer share my 'umble 'ome?”

Oh Lizer, Sweet Lizer
If yer die an old maid you'll only 'ave yerself to blame
D'y'ear Lizer?
Dear Lizer
'Ow d'yer fancy 'Awkins for yer other name?

I shan't forget our meetin', “G'arn” was 'er greetin'
“Just yer mind wot you're about”
'Er pretty 'ead she throws up, then she turns 'er nose up
Sayin' “Let me go, I'll shout!”
“I like your style” sez Liser, thought as I'd surprise 'er
Cops 'er round the waist like this
Sez she “I must be dreamin', chuck it, I'll start screamin'.”
“If yer do” sez I “I'll kiss.”


She wears a artful bonnet, feathers stuck upon it
Coverin' a fringe all curled
She's just about the sweetest, prettiest and neatest
Doner in the wide, wide world
And she'll be Missis 'Awkins, Missis 'En'ry 'Awkins
Got 'er for to name the day
Settled it last Monday, so to church on Sunday
Off we trots the donkey shay.

Oh Lizer, Sweet Lizer
If yer die an old maid you'll only 'ave yerself to blame
D'y'ear Lizer?
Dear Lizer
Missis 'En'ry 'Awkins is a fust class name.