A canny come oot the noo

AKA I’m not coming out the noo
I’m no comin’ oot the noo
No comin’ oot
I canna come oot the noo
.. and various other phonetic spellings.
Bonnie Wee Jeannie McKay
First Published (1913)
Writer/composer Unknown Roud RN5298

Music Hall Performers JA Cassells, Jack Anthony, Johnnie Beattie
Folk performances Collected from the singing of:
Stewart, Belle and Sheila; Scotland : Perthshire; 1960
Stewart, Belle Scotland : Perthshire; 1961
Stewart, Belle, Sheila & Cathie: Scotland : Perthshire; 1985
Bonthrone, Tommy; Scotland : Auchenblae; no date
Modern performances
Johnnie Beattie		 

Transcribed by John Baxter from a recording by Johnny Beattie, sung in the style of Jack Anthony [details below]:
 
A canny come oot the noo

[Spoken] Nae bother at all..

Oh I'm courting a nice wee lassie by the name of Jeannie McKay,
A nicer lass than Jeannie you could never ever spy; 
I told he I would take her tae a music-hall, you see,
So dressed up nice and tricky, she come dancin' roond for me;
And when I heard her at the door —
I was awfae sorry I had to roar:

Oh A canny come oot the noo, the noo, 
A canny come oot the noo
I'm awfae sorry, Jeannie dear, for disappointin' you;
My mother has ta'en my claes to the pawn so what am I to do? 
And I've only a muffler roond ma neck and A canny come oot the noo.

[Spoken] Nae bother at all..

Oh I bought a nice new raincoat from a man called Mr Sneak; 
I told that I wad pay him back at a half-a-croon a week;
I gave him one instalment, that was all he got from me, 
So yesterday he sent a lawyer's letter round to me:
"Come round' an' pay me for my coat" -
But in reply to him I wrote:

Oh A canny come oot the noo, the noo, 
A canny come oot the noo
I owe you all the money for the raincoat, that is true;
But I forged the cheque and I got the jail, so tooral-ooral-oo,
In sixty days I might get oot but A canny come oot the noo.

[Spoken] Nae bother at all..

In a small hotel where I reside it really is a treat,
All the fleas come out in swarm when I'm below the sheet; 
I cannae get a wink o' sleep, it really is a shame,
So I bought a box of Keating's just to spoil their little game.
Last night when I jumped into bed -
A million little voices said:

Oh they're no comin' oot the noo, the noo, 
We no comin' oot the noo
You put some Keating's Powder on the bed-clothes, that is true. 
And if we come oot we'll all be killed, so tooral-ooral-oo, 
We'll hae our revenge some other night, but we're no' comin' oot the
noo!

A song most associated with the Scottish variety performer Jack Anthony, though the song was probably sung by earlier Scottish Music Hall artistes. It has been collected several times from members of the the Stewart family of the important Scots traveller community based in Blairgowrie.

I had some difficulties investigating this song which has been named with a variety of approaches to phonetic spelling. The earliest mention of a song with this title appears to be in August 1913, performed at the Lanark Picture House, but if you know different – get in touch!

Hamilton Advertiser – Saturday 16 August 1913

Even though we only have the title, this suggests the first to sing this song may have been JA Cassells, a performer usually billed as Scotland’s Ideal Comedian. Cassells was Glasgow based, and notices advertising his services appeared in the Scottish Daily Record between 1905 and 1914. After this point his name seems to disappear from the records, perhaps he changed it or sadly perhaps he was lost in the war with so many others.

The song appears to have lived on and during the war there are several records of a song of this title being sung by Private McGowan in 1917 as part of a Concert Party of soldiers of the 5th (Res) Battallion Scottish Rifles in Galashiels. There is also a single instance of it being sung by “Harry McGregor, Scotch comedian and dancer” in 1915 (further details are in the appendix below).

The song then appears in the repertoire of Jack Anthony (1901 -1962), one of the most popular Scottish comics of the 1930s and after. At this point we can be much more confident that it’s the same song that members of the Stewart family and other traditional singers took up, as we are no longer relying on solely on the title. Anthony had his stage debut in around 1919 – his catchphrase was Nae bother at a’ as you will hear if you listen to Johnny Beattie’s tribute below.

The actress Molly Weir (1910-2004) remembered singing a snatch of the song in early childhood in Glasgow, probably in the 1910s or early 20s.

A canny come oot the noo is sometimes known as Bonnie Wee Jeannie MacKay, which has led to mistaking it for the very popular Will Fyffe song She was the Belle O’ The Ball with its alternative title Bonny Wee Jeannie McColl. Just to add to the confusion, the Stewart family tend to replace Anthony’s opening line of A canny come oot the noo with a variation of the first line of the chorus of Fyffe’s song:

Oh, a nice wee lass, a fine wee lass is Bonnie Wee Jeannie MacKay

But aside from these similarities they are two different songs.

Johnny Beattie sings it in tribute to Jack Anthony:

The Stewarts of Blair sing it:

Sources:

Appendix: The earliest records of amateur performances: