Wheel your perambulator, John

Well, now we've got a baby. What a babe she is!
Her eyes are green. What a queen! We call her pretty Liz.
And every night when I get home, my wife does say to me,
"Get the perambulator, John, and don't go far away."

So wheel the perambulator, John. Wheel it nice and slow.
Don't get riled. Mind the child. Be careful as you go.
When you turn the corner, John, when you cross the road,
Just raise your front wheels up a bit or over goes your load.

Last time I took the baby out, it was in the pram.
I turned the bloomin' thing upside down and I don't know where I am.
I cracked the baby's head and I think I broke her nose,
And now I darn't go home tonight for my fear of my wife Rose.  

The other night when we went out, we left the baby behind.
I turned and said to my moth, I think you're very kind.
But as we were walking we met Missus Grey,
She had a perambulator and she was going out of way. 

Well, now we've got a baby. What a baby she is!
Her eyes are green. What a queen! We call her pretty Liz.
And every night when I get home, my wife does say to me,
"Get the perambulator, John, and don't go far away."

This song seems to be widely sung in both England and Ireland and has been collected from a range of source singers. It is widely assumed to be a Music Hall song. At the moment I cannot confirm this, I have spent too long trying to find out who wrote it and/or performed it originally! I can confirm the following songs that it is not:

• NOT the Vance song The perambulator, First Line I’ve fallen in love with a pretty young girl, V37281 ……
• NOT Dear old p’rambulator written and composed by Mellor, Gifford and Trevor ; sung by Nat Lewis , First line: Just behold this antiquated p’rambulator. First line of chorus: Dear old p’rambulator.
• Prob Not The Perambulator Walk.  Author: Melville Gideon Publisher:        ©1926.

I don’t think it’s Mark Sheridan’s Perambulator Promenade, but I can’t confirm this.

There are no obvious references to it in The Era, the “trade newspaper” of the halls.

Update August 2021:

A song called Wheel the Perambulator John was sung by Mr F Plummer at a supper of the St George’s Literary and Athletic society in late 1887 (Dec. 30, 1887; Royal Cornwall Gazette). Assuming it’s the same song, this amateur performance near Truro, Cornwall, indicates the song was written before Christmas 1887 – my first proper clue ….

Sources:

• Mudcat thread
• VWML entries
• Mustrad article on Walter Pardon
• With thanks to Ian West for suggesting I investigate this one.

The Black family perform a version:

Last Updated on August 4, 2021 by John Baxter | Published: July 9, 2020