All Over Me

I took my wife to Barnum's once
The tattooed man to see, 
Now when I come home from work 
She starts to tattoo me; 
She's marked me from my great big toe 
Up to my lovely chin – 
And I don't get the needle when 
She sticks the needle in!

All over me – all over me; 
In Indian ink all down my legs
There's ships of war and Easter eggs, 
Now I'm just like a picture galleree 
You want to look at the views of London 
All over me!

While touring once in Switzerland, 
Inside a cosy pub,
I met some pretty members of
The Ladies' Bloomer Club;
I climbed a mountain high that day,
They followed in a row,
I reached the top in half an hour 
With lumps of ice and snow—

All over me – all over me; 
I tied the girls to me with rope,
But oh ! I tumbled down a slope —
For half an hour the sky I couldn't see,
There was nothing but ladies and ladies' bloomers 
All over me!

I had some lovely lodgings once, 
A fam'ly lived upstairs,
One night they gave a party and 
It made me say my prayers ;
I'd just got into bed, I had,
Then I began to "twig"
The blessed ceiling giving way 
As they commenced to jig —
 
All over me – all over me; 
They danced about until I saw 
They'd made a big hole in the floor,
Then down came Ma and all the fanlike, 
The bedstead, bed and the water basin
All over me!

Each morning as I used to pass 
A shirt and collar place,
Inside the little door I'd always 
Poke my smiling face.
The other day I shouted out
"Oh, chase me for my curls!" 
Then someone pushed me in the shop, 
And twenty laundry girls — (Were)

All over me – all over me; 
They laid me on a table there,
Among the shirts and underwear,
With hot flat-irons they scorched my toggeree,
And started ironing out the dimples
All over me!