| AKA | The Josser football team |
| First Published | 1897 |
| Writer/composer | Mark Sheridan | Roud | RN16735 |
| Music Hall Performers | Mark Sheridan, Jock Whiteford |
| Folk performances | Collected from the singing of: Fellows, Sid; England : Suffolk; mid-1960s |
I'll tell you the tale of the pirate team, They're the very worst players that ever were seen; It all occurred on a patch of green, At a football match last Saturday. We started away from the town all gay, Each member he was ready for the fray; We swore we'd win or die that day, At the football match last Saturday. We reached the ground at half past two, The crowd it numbered a thousand or two, We said "We'll show them what we can do" At the football match last Saturday. To be funny with me our captain tried, I threw him on his back and there he lied; Then I kicked him on his ... offside, At the football match last Saturday. The Referee "Upon my soul, I took that man for a telegraph pole," So I took his trousers for the goal, At the football match last Saturday. We started the game with the wind at our backs, Our opponents they led all the attacks, Which fairly gave our captain the wax, At the football match last Saturday Just then we commenced to play very fine, The ball was just going over the line The Referee whistled and called "half-time" At the football match last Saturday. The interval was welcome – true We ate ice cream and Irish stew, And Elliman's embrocation too, At the football match last Saturday. As soon as we began the second half, The crowd they all began to laugh, Said one "Lor' Lumme! Just look at his calf" At the football match last Saturday I thought I'd make a name of renown I shouted out "That's my touchdown" Somebody touched me for half a crown, At the football match last Saturday. The crowd then shouted "Play up, all" But we could not respond to their call, We found somebody had pinched the ball, At the football match last Saturday. Our supporters were there, all staunch and true. The result was thirty goals to two; The air for miles around went blue, At the football match last Saturday. The Referee so kind and true, We kicked him till he was black and blue, He lost his watch and his giblets too, At the football match last Saturday That put all our team in a funk, So they went to the pub and got paralytic drunk, The treasurer he with the money did a bunk From the football match last Saturday. We went to the dressing room and what you suppose: We found somebody had sneaked our clothes, Who got them, goodness only knows, At the football match last Saturday. We all got keepsakes from our foes, There's one man's ear, there is another man's nose; We all walked home in nature's clothes, From the football match last Saturday
A version of this song was collected in the mid-1960s by Neil Lanham from the singing of Sid Fellows. It features on the Helions Bumpstead CD Lavenham.
The song was originally written and performed in the late 1890s by the music hall comic Mark Sheridan (see his brief biography below). It was also performed in Britain by the Scottish comedian Jock Whiteford, and in Australia by Horace Wheatley.
A letter to the editor of The Era from the Welsh comedian NC Bostock challenged Sheridan’s right to use the title, as he had been singing a different song called At the football match last Saturday since 1892. (The Era, 17 April 1897)
Mark Sheridan (1864-1918) was a huge star in the Halls and pantomimes of the late 19th and early 20th century. He was born of Scottish and Irish parents in County Durham and worked originally on the Sunderland docks before taking up a job in the office of a Newcastle theatre. He didn’t work in the office for long and his early successes in Newcastle were followed by tours of Australia and South Africa, before establishing himself as a major star in London in the mid-1890s. His most famous song today is probably I do like to be beside the seaside but he performed and recorded many other songs. He seemed to have suffered from mental health difficulties and sadly he committed suicide at the age of 53. A more extensive biography can be found in the archived website marksheridan.org.
At the football match last Saturday sung by Mark Sheridan:
Sources:
- VWML entry
- Kilgarrif Sing Us
- Lyrics and Sheet Music: Weekly Dispatch (London), 03 November 1907, p10
- Sheet Music Image: (c) Victoria and Albert Museum
Last Updated on March 27, 2023 by John Baxter | Published: July 5, 2022
