Not for Joseph

Joseph Baxter is my name; my friends all call me Joe
I'm up, you know, to ev'ry game, and ev'rything I know
Ah! I once was green as green could be, I suffered for it though:
Now, if they try it on with me, I tell them 'Not for Joe'

'Not for Joe', 'not for Joe'
If he knows it 'Not for Joseph'
No, no, no 'Not for Joe'
'Not for Joseph', oh, dear no.

I used to throw my cash about, in a reckless sort of way
I'm careful now what I'm about, and cautious how I pay:
Now the other night I asked a pal, with me to have a drain,
'Thanks Joe' said he, 'Lets see old pal I think I'll have Champagne.'
(Will ye, said I, oh, no,)

There's a fellow called Jack Bannister, he's a sort of chap is Jack
Who is always money borrowing and never pays ye back
Now last Thursday night he came to me, said he'd just returned to town
And was rather short of cash, could I lend him half a crown
(Well, I said, if I thought I should ever get it back again I would with
pleasure - but excuse me if I say...)


A friend of mine down in Pall Mall, the other night said 'Joe
I'll introduce you to a gal you really ought to know
She's a widow you should try and win, 'twould a good match be for you
She's pretty and got lots of tin, and only forty-two
(Fancy forty-two, old enough to be my grand-mother, and you know a
fellow can't marry his grandmother, lots of tin though, and pretty,
forty-two!).


I think you've had enough of Joe, and go I really must
I thank you for your kindness though, and only hope and trust
That the favour you have shown so long I always may retain:
Perhaps now if you like my song, you'll wish I'll sing again.
(But....)