{"id":4924,"date":"2020-08-27T16:00:14","date_gmt":"2020-08-27T16:00:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/folksongandmusichall.com\/?page_id=4924"},"modified":"2024-03-04T16:47:37","modified_gmt":"2024-03-04T16:47:37","slug":"scientific-man-the","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"http:\/\/folksongandmusichall.com\/index.php\/scientific-man-the\/","title":{"rendered":"Scientific Man, The"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
AKA<\/strong><\/td>He knew all about enemology<\/td><\/tr>
First Published<\/td>1895 <\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
Lyrics<\/strong><\/td>Charles Osborne<\/td>Music<\/strong><\/td>Charles Osborne<\/td>Roud<\/strong><\/td>RN25858<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\n
Music Hall Performers<\/strong><\/td>TE Dunville<\/td><\/tr>
Folk performances<\/strong><\/td>Source Singers<\/strong>
Albert Farmer 1964\/73 England: Surrey<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n
\n
I once knew a man and he was an encyclopedia\nHe could tell you the weight of the moon to an ounce\nAnd the name of every star\nHe'd stand on a slope with a big telescope and squint at Venus hard\nTill all the Pa's of the girls in Mars complained at Scotland Yard\nHe used to say that the Milky Way was at Cowes in the Isle of Wight\nHe anlaysed fogs from the Isle of Dogs, and set the Thames alight\nThey had to admit he'd got the wit and learning in his mind\nOf Europe, Ireope, Lorop, Stirrup, and Jalop all combined.\n\nAnd he knew all about etymology,\nHebrew, Shebrew, ju-ju-ology\nSyntax, tintacks, hobnails and boot-jacks\nHe was as full as a Pickford's van\nThose who cracked and backed up Edison\nSwore his jaw was more than medicine\nSimply because people said he was\nA durned learned scientific man.<\/em>\n\nHe could jaw for a week in Ancient Greek\nAnd spout on the ages dark\nHe'd pinch your watch to indulge in Scotch\nAnd Welsh you at Kempton Park\nHe'd bolt and bunk like a chinese junk\nAnd dance a German Waltz\nAnd inflate his lungs with various tongues\nFrom Dutch to Epsom Salts\nHe'd a beak like a parrot, the colour of a carrot\nWith a Roman wart on top\nA swan-like throat, like an old mud boat\nAnd a breath like a chemist shop\nA long moustache like weeds in a marsh\nAnd a temper sour and crabby\nHe'd nap and scrap with Russian or a Jap\nAnd swear like a London cabby.\n\n\nHe could tell from a speck of mud upon your neck\nThe place where you were born\nAnd just from the touch he could say how much\nYour bags would fetch in pawn\nHe'd guess your weight by the size of your pate\nAnd what seemed still more strange\nHe'd boldly assert by the wrinkles of your shirt\nThat you required a change\nHe was nearly as quick at arithmetic\nAs a Chatham and Dover train\nHe had grammar and addition, and bunk-a-doodleition\nAnd division and collision on the brain\nHe collared a degree at a University\nAnd all the Dons did frighten\nBy winning a prize for a book that size\nOn 'Insect life in Brighton.'\n\n\nHe could draw a map, a barrow, or a trap\nAnd square a circle or a slop\nAnd he could swear, from the colour of the air\nTo the nearest fried-fish shop\nAround his room a sweet perfume\nInvariably did dwell\nThat scent one night to the house set light\nAnd blew the town to Halifax\nWhen the coroner was told the place was cold\nHe came up to the scratch\nThey found one rib that looked like a squib\nAnd smelt like a brimstone match\nThey sniffed and yelled and an inquest held\nThose gentlemen in fustian\nSaid they, 'By gom! - he's busted from\nSpontaneous combustion.'<\/pre>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n
TE Dunville (1867-1924), billed as ‘eccentric comedian and contortionist’<\/em> or ‘the Long Lean Lorn Loon<\/em>‘ dressed rather oddly on stage in a “black alpaca bodice” , he was described as:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n
A long lean figure clad in exiguous black, with a bare, dome-like forehead, wild glaring eyes, a nervous, twitching restlessness and a mad, staccato utterance.<\/p>\nBooth ‘London Town’ <\/em>Quoted in Baker<\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
He supplemented his career as a comedian, managing  other artists including his first wife Millie Lindon. he had an extensive repertoire of comic songs, incluing:<\/p>\n\n\n\n