{"id":4255,"date":"2020-07-11T15:20:48","date_gmt":"2020-07-11T15:20:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/folksongandmusichall.com\/?page_id=4255"},"modified":"2021-01-09T19:28:06","modified_gmt":"2021-01-09T19:28:06","slug":"any-dirty-work-today","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"http:\/\/folksongandmusichall.com\/index.php\/any-dirty-work-today\/","title":{"rendered":"Any dirty work today"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
AKA<\/strong><\/td>Do you want any dirty work<\/td><\/tr>
First Published<\/td> 1922<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
Lyrics<\/strong><\/td>Weston<\/td>Music<\/strong><\/td>Lee<\/td>Roud<\/strong><\/td>RN29705<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
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Music Hall Performers<\/strong><\/td>George Carney<\/td><\/tr>
Folk performances<\/strong><\/td>Source Singers<\/strong>
Brenda Bentall, 1970, England
Bob Keightley, 1979, London, England<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n
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We\u2019re here! We're here! Do you want any murders done today?\nD'ya hear? D'ya hear? If you want anybody put out of the way\nCall the old established firm, your old good friends in need.\nFamilies waited on daily, the best work guaranteed!\n\nDo you want any dirty work done, any dirty work today?\nHere we are, ready and willing, to murder your mother-in-law for a shilling.\nIf you've got a wife or two, you want put out of the way,\nWe are the boys to do the job. We do them in, a bob a nob,\nIf you've more, its three for a bob! Any dirty work today?\n \nDo you want any dirty work done, any dirty work today?\nHere we are, ready and willing, to kill any lady's old man for a shilling.\nSo if he's shabby and worn-out, while you're still young and gay\nLet's put strychnine in his tea! Rely on us the secrecy,\nYou ask the lady at number three! Any dirty work today?<\/em>\n \nWe\u2019re here! We're here! We're the original dirty dogs.\nD'ye hear! D'ye hear! If you want a good murder, see our catalogues\nPoisonings done for eighteen pence, and that includes the dose.\nAnd we've some glorious deaths in stock at one-and-nine per gross.\n \nDo you want any dirty work done, any dirty work today?\nHere we are, ready and willing, to strangle a cat or a dog for a shilling.\nFor tuppence we\u2019ll ring your landlords bell and run away.\nIf there\u2019s anyone you hate, for ninepence when the hour is late,\nWe\u2019ll chalk rude words on his garden gate! Any dirty work today?\n \nDo you want any dirty work done, any dirty work today?\nHere we are, ready and willing, to burn any house to the ground for a shilling.\nThe petrol costs us eight pence, you may think it doesn\u2019t pay;\nFor fourpence profit doesn\u2019t sound a lot, but we\u2019ve got a decent round\nAnd sixty fourpences make a pound: Any dirty work today?<\/em>\n \nWe\u2019re here! We're here! Now does anyone want a quick divorce?\nD'ye hear! D'ye hear! We can make it easy as backing a horse\nEvidence we can wangle in a way they can\u2019t detect\n\u201cHomes broken up on the shortest notice!\u201d \u201cHappy firesides wrecked\u201d\n \nDo you want any dirty work done, any dirty work today?\nHere we are, ready and willing, to get your evidence up for a shilling.\nIf you\u2019ve a wife that\u2019s as good and pure as flowers that bloom in May\nPay a bob, then up we creep, black her face while she\u2019s asleep,\nAnd swear we saw her kissing the sweep: Any dirty work today?\n \nDo you want any dirty work done, any dirty work today?\nHere we are, ready and willing, to settle a newly born babe for a shilling.\nWe\u2019ll wait out on the stairs until the doctor\u2019s gone away,\nThen grab the baby from the nurse, no mess, no trouble and no fuss\nLend us a pail and leave it to us: Any dirty work today?\n <\/em>\n \nDo you want any dirty work done, any dirty work today?\nHere we are, ready and willing, to cut off a nanny goat\u2019s beard for a shilling.\nAnd if the dairy farmers says: \u201cYour bill you\u2019ve got to pay!\u201d\nFor fourpence round his cows will sneak, we\u2019ll feed them on onions for a week;\nHe\u2019ll get no milk because they\u2019ll spring a leak: Any dirty work today?\n \nDo you want any dirty work done, any dirty work today?\nHere we are, ready and willing, to trip up old ladies for 3 and a shilling.\nFor Fourpence down, we'll have high tea at Lyon\u2019s caf\u00e9\nAnd though the menu plainly says: No tips allowed!\nWe\u2019ll watch and wait, then slip a penny beneath the plate! Any dirty work today?<\/em><\/pre>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n
Another song from Weston and Lee<\/a>, though this one doesn’t appear quite so well remembered in the folk world. It has only been found three times in the south of England, the recording by Brenda Bentall is listed on the VWML site, the other 2 can be found in the British Library Sound archive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I can’t find a lot about George Carney’s  (1847-1947) career in the halls, other than that he once appeared with Fred Karno as a sketch artist. In his early life, he worked both in the Liverpool Cotton Exchange and the Belfast shipyards. From 1913 he increasingly became involved in the film industry, first as a character actor and later as a director. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I think this is a song worth singing, the black humour appeals to me! If you agree check out the recording of Bob Keighley below.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sources:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n