When father papered the parlour

AKA When father painted the parlour
Lyrics Robert Weston Music Fred Barnes Roud Index 24529

Music Hall performers Billy Williams
Folk performances Cosmotheka 

   Our   parlour wanted papering Pa said it was waste
   To call a paperhanger in and so we made some paste
   He bought some rolls of paper a ladder and a brush
   And with my Mummy's nightgown on at it he made a rush.
   
   When Father papered the parlour, you couldn't see pa for paste
   Dabbing it here, dabbing it there, paste and paper everywhere
   Mother was stuck to the ceiling; the kids were stuck to the floor
   I never knew a blooming family so stuck up before.
   
   The pattern was ‘blue roses' its leaves red white and brown
   He'd stuck it wrong way up and now we all walk upside down
   And when he trimmed the edging off the paper with the shears
   The cat got underneath it and Dad cut off both its ears.
   
   Soon Dad fell down the stairs and dropped his paperhanger's can
   On little Henrietta sitting there with her young man
   The paste stuck them together as we'd thought 'twould be for life
   We had to fetch the parson in to make them man and wife.
   
   We're never going to move away from that house any more
   For Father's gone and stuck the chairs table to the floor
   We can't find our piano though it's broad and rather tall
   We think that its behind the paper Pa stuck on the wall.
   
   Now, Father's sticking in the pub through treading in the paste
   And all the family's so upset they've all gone pasty faced
   While Pa says, now that Ma has spread the news from North to South
   He wishes he had dropped a blob of paste in Mother's mouth.

Australian Billy Williams (1878-1915), son of a draper, became known as “the Man in the Velvet Suit” for reasons which are fairly obvious (it was usually blue). He was successful in London both on the Music Hall stage and as a very early recording artist. His other big hits included John, John, Go and put your trousers on and Why can’t we have the sea in London?

Fred Barnes was a successful performer in his own right, and for the times was relatively open about his homosexuality. More about Fred by following the link…

Billy sings it:

  • Sources:
    Lyrics: monologues.co.uk
  • Sheet Music: Personal Collection and Bumper Book of Music Hall Songs
  • Baker British Music Hall