AKA | |
First Published | 1906 |
Writer/composer | RP Weston | Roud | RN32455 |
Music Hall Performers | Harry Champion |
Folk performances | Source Singers none |
Jimmy Banks would be a handsome feller If he had another face and a different smeller But his mouth queers him from winning in a beauty show For it looks just like a steam-boat funnel Or a railway arch, or the Blackwall Tunnel And you can't see Jim when he opens it wide, you know And when poor Jim goes walking about You can hear kids all hollering out What a mouth! What a mouth! What a North and South Ker-i-key! What a mouth he's got When he was a youngster, Oh Lord Lovell Why, his poor old Mother used to feed him with a shovel What a gap! Poor chap! He's never been known to laugh For if he did, it's a penny to a quid That his face'd fall in half. Though his great big mouth it ain't all honey He can whisper in his own ear, ain't it funny? But to lay the dust he has to drink a lot, oh my And he got so tight one foggy morning That he laid down flat in the roadway yawning As a poor old man was delivering coals near by And as he went to shift the load He saw Jim's mouth out in the road. What a mouth! What a mouth! What a North and South Ker-i-key! What a mouth he's got The coalman, an old short-sighted feller Saw his mouth wide open, and took it for the cellar And he shot the lot right into his mouth, no joke For Jim, poor soul, ‘s got a tummy full of coal And he coughs up lumps of coke! In the tap room of the Rose and Thistle Jimmy often has a try to wet his whistle But he can't succeed until he's had a hundred ‘pots' First a hundred pots of beer he'll swallow Then as all his teeth at the back are hollow He can still find room for a dozen or so ‘rum hots' A new barmaid came there one night She saw Jim's face and yelled with fright. What a mouth! What a mouth! What a North and South Ker-i-key! What a mouth he's got He opened it wide and the barmaid hollered For a pewter pot he had accidentally swallowed It was hot, that pot, soon melted and now he sits Down by the fire with a little bit of wire And he hooks up two bob bits. Jimmy's wife had such a lovely baby With a mouth as big as Jim's, or larger, may be And I shan't forget the morning that he cut one tooth When the poor young ma heard the baby blubber For a nice hard teat that was made of rubber She at once took him to the chemist, and, it's the truth They could not get inside the door Till they shut the baby's mouth, oh lor. What a mouth! What a mouth! What a North and South Ker-i-key! What a mouth he's got 'As baby's ateething' said his mummy 'Will you please, sir, let me have a penny rubber dummy?' Said the cove 'Bai Jove' as he sucked a big jujube 'There's no rubber teat for a penny that'll fit He wants a twopenny tube.' Jimmy Banks in bed one night was snoring And the neighbours round about thought a lion was roaring Then the old Dutch clock, that was hanging on the bedroom wall From the nail fell into his big mouth wallop Jim woke, and yelled, 'Go for Doctor Jalap.' Said his wife, 'No fear! You have swallowed the clock, that's all' And now the people, isn't it fine Look down his throat to see the time. What a mouth! What a mouth! What a North and South Ker-i-key! What a mouth he's got The works of the old Dutch clock keep whizzing In his rum-tum-tummy like a lot of sherbet fizzing And his wife, what strife, can't sleep of a night, that's right Cause against his tum she can hear the pendulum Going tock-tock-tick all night.
A classic Cockney song from the early 20th century halls. It was remembered by Charles Keeping as being sung at family parties in 1930s Lambeth, but it’s not really been collected from the singing of a source singer, so doesn’t really feature my lists as a “folk song”. It was written by the prolific RP Weston and sung by Harry Champion in the Halls.
As revived by Tommy Steele in 1960:
Sources:
- Entries in the Roud Indexes at the Vaughn Williams Memorial Library: https://archives.vwml.org/search/all:single[folksong-broadside-books]/0_50/all/score_desc/extended-roudNo_tr%3A32455
- Kilgarrif Sing Us
- Lyrics: monologues.co.uk
Last Updated on January 9, 2021 by John Baxter | Published: January 9, 2021