Two Sweethearts, The

First Published 1892
Writer/composer Lester Barrett Roud RNtbc

Music Hall Performers Lester Barrett
Folk performances none that i know of 

From Wehman's Collection of Songs, No. 36 p10

TWO SWEETHEARTS
Copyright, 1892, by Francis, Day & Hunter.

Written and Composed by Lester Barrett.

I know it's not correct have two sweethearts at a time,
Tho' I must candidly confess I'm guilty of the crime;
But things are getting rather warm, and soon there'll be a smash, 
The one has lots of beauty and the other lots of cash.

And I don't want the one that I don't want to know
That I want the one that I want,
And the one that I want she wants me to go
And give up the other at once.
Why I don't want the one that I don't want to know
That I want the one that I want,
Is, if I lose the one that I want, don't you know,
I might want the one that I don't want.

Matilda, with her pretty face, has got a charm for me; 
Jemima, 'tho she's rather old, has got the L. S. D.
I must have one — I can't have both, for that would not be right, 
And if they find me out, why, then, I'd have them both to fight.

SPOKEN — The ladies I am sure, will think me a monster; but I think the gentlemen will sympathize with me, when I tell them that — Chorus.

I often think 'twould serve me right if, through my long delay, 
Some other fellow came and stole the darling ones away;
In such a case I hardly know whatever I should do,
But then, of course, I quite forgot he couldn't have the two.

SPOKEN — I went to my solicitor to-day for advice. He said I ought to be horsewhipped, and satirically inquired if I would like an Act of Parliament
for especial benefit; but he was still more disgusted with me when I told him that — Chorus.

This Music Hall song, written and performed by  Lester Barrett, does not appear to have featured in the repertoire of traditional singers. Its included here to distinguish it from a song which did – the extremely popular American song: Two Sweethearts of mine (words: E.P. Moran, music: J. Fred Helf, 1898). The American song was famously sung by The Carter Family and appears in the repertoire of a large number of traditional singers on both sides of the Atlantic. The sentimental American song has occasionally been confused with Lester Barrett’s comic piece.

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