Next horse I ride on, The

Father came into some money about a week ago
Told me to learn to ride was the proper thing, you know
From the coal-shop round the corner he went and hired a nag
Dressed me up in a riding habit and told me to hunt the stag
Father got a dozen men to help me on the filly
What a job they had, I was fairly mad
Sat me on the wrong way, and I did feel awful silly
I was looking at his tail and didn't know what to do.

The next horse I ride on, I'm going to be tied on
There was I, jumping the rails
Over the hills and over the dales
I shouted, 'Tally-Ho', the gee-gee gave a cough
It took a long time to get me on, but not so long to come off.

I went dashing through the village and bumped a brewers dray
Killed about a dozen chickens, so now they cannot lay
Then a policemen blew his whistle... he was a silly goat
As we charged him in the rummy the whistle went down his throat
Then the gee-gee saw a ditch, and soon we both were in it
Fell with such a thud, my mouth was full of mud
Then some yokels came along, in less than half a minute
Dragged me out - stuck me on the horrible horse again.

When the yokels stuck me on it, this time I had the rein
Then they gave the horse a wallop and off we went again
My left foot was in the stirrup so I began to bump
And the more I tried to bump the saddle the higher he tried to jump
Fifty miles an hour and over everything we rattled
Then, oh dear me, he threw me up a tree
Took his hook and left me there so I was fairly baffled
Where he's gone to I don't know bit I've got to walk it home.