She cost me seven and sixpence

SHE COST ME SEVEN AND SIXPENCE
(James Hargreaves and Sam Mayo  1904)

It's just six months ago since since I
Got married at Peckham Rye,
But I could not have had much sense
For she cost me seven shillings and six pence.

She cost me seven and six pence,
She cost me seven and six pence,
She cost me seven and six pence,
I wish I'd bought a dog!

We've a big milk pail, you see,
Where mother keeps her milk but she
Left the lift off yesterday,
And when I came home, strange to say,

A mouse was in that milk pail,
A mouse was in that milk pail,
A mouse was in that milk pail,
So I threw our tomcat in.

Myn pa and I went out one day
And down the country road did stray.
A bull dashed out of a field, you see,
And the farmer shouted out to me,

"Don't let him see anything red, sir!
"Don't let him see anything red, sir!
"Don't let him see anything red, sir!
So I covered up father's nose.

I saw a cat in a house one day,
That cat had no tail, strange to say.
I said, "What's wrong with that poor cat?".
They said, "It's Manx - they're all like that".

I said, "I never knew it!",
I said, "I never knew it!",
I said, "I never knew it!,
It's a Manx shirt I've got on!".

The hidden treasure craze I've got,
A clue said, "Go to a shady spot
Where some birds on a tree you'll see,
Then look up at the birds that are on that tree".

I looked up for that treasure,
I looked up for that treasure,
I looked up for that treasure,
Has anybody got a match?

A girl I courted years ago
Got married to a man named Joe.
Last week I met her in a train,
I said, "Have you got any family, Jane?".

She said, "I've got six, thank you",
She said, "I've got six, thank you",
She said, "I've got six, thank you",
I said, "Oh, don't thank me".

A tramp called round at our house once,
Said he, "I've had no food for months".
I said, "I know that's very hard,
But just go round to our back yard."

"My father's in the pigsty,
My father's in the pigsty,
My father's in the pigsty,
You'll know him by his hat".

A pal of mine once said to me,
"Will you knock me up at half past three?".
I said, "Yes", so at half past one
I knocked him up and said, "Oh, John,

I've just come round to tell you,
I've just come round to tell you,
I've just come round to tell you,
You've two more hours to sleep!".