Riley’s Cowshed

A poet loves the springtime and the bumblebee the hive,
A worm just loves to turn around to see if he’s alive.
But I’ve a girl that I love who will keep me all my life
I asked her if she’d marry me or if she’ll be my wife
 
I met her [WHO?]
Bandy Bertha [WHEN?]
In the merry month of May
I teased her [HOW?]
When I freezed her in the duckpond yesterday!

I hugged her [WHY?]
Cos I love her and I know she’s mine all right
Cos I kissed her [WHERE?]
On her birthday in Riley’s cowshed last night.
 
Her neck is shapely as a swan's, I won’t say it’s as white
Her teeth are  like the twinkling stars feel, they all  come out at night
Her face is not good looking, but it also isn’t plain
It’s like a blotting pad that’s been out all night in the rain
 
Chorus x2

Folk song collectors visiting pubs in the south-east of England in the 1960s and after recorded a huge number of early 20th century Music Hall songs, usually be suggestive, comic ones. This one requires a certain amount of audience participation…

George Bass (1888-1928) was a Lancashire comedian, who for many years worked as part of a double act with Stanley Damerell (1879-1951). Sadly Bass died in 1928 at age 40, after collapsing on stage in Burnley. Damerell developed a career as a songwriter, the best known perhaps being Let’s all sing like the birdies sing and Hunting tigers out in India.

Sources:

• Lyrics transcribed from recording at Michael Hall’s Music Hall Soundfiles
• George Bass bio from Music Hall Studies
• Albert Bromley sings it on the double CD Comic songs sung along the Stour Valley, available from Oral Traditions
• Sheet music: Lawrence Wright’s 4th Monster Album, p32

Fred Gibson sings recorded it: