My bonnie bonnie Jean

From Francis and Day's 36th Annual

In a nice wee hoosie on the banks o' Loch Lomond
Lives the bonnie lass that I love best.
There no mistake aboot her, I could never live withoot her
For there's no ither like her in the West.
She lives wi' her grannie, her dear auld grannie,
And very fond o' her she seems to be.
I ken how Grannie loves her, cause ev'rybody loves her,
But no one loves her half as much as me.

I love ma Jean, my bonnie, bonnie Jean.
She's very fascinating an' she's only seventeen,
Her hair is nice an' crimpy; her cheeks are like the rose,
An' she comes frae bonnie Scotland where the bluebell grows.

The first time I met her she was for a pail o' water.
She was waitin' on it fillin' at the spring.
As she was standin' waitin', I said, "No use hesitatin'!"
So I ask'd her if she'd like to wear a ring.
She said that I was cheeky, I was sly and I was sleeky.
She said she thought I'd rather much to say
But I said, "Ye're such a beauty that I'll have to do ma duty."
So I kissed her 'cause there's danger in delay.

When her and me go courtin' doon the garden in the gloamin'
Underneath the auld oak tree three times a week
I just slip my arm 'roon her and wi' kisses nearly droon her
Then she lets me warm my chin 'gainst her cheek 
She's such a dear wee dearie, sae kind and cheery
And on her face there's aye a sunny smile
She's what you'd ca' perfection, so I've made a fine selection; 
Just to see how I would walk ten thousand miles

I think I'll ask her grannie if she'll let me marry Jean,
I never would offend her because many a bob I lend her
And I often gie her toddy in her tea
Her grannie likes a drappy and it makes her happy
She says it helps to drive away her care
So when her grannie's noddy, noddy drinking toddy
Jean and me just occupy the chair.

[Spoken Patter after last verse]
I said to her grannie the other nicht, I said, "Grannie, there's an epidemic going about the noo." She said,"What is it?" I said, "It's marriagitis." "Well," she said: "That Itis business is very dangerous; don't contract it." I said,"I have" And I said, "Grannie, Jean told me to tell ye, she has it too." She said, "Ye wee rascal ye'er in love." I said, "Guilty." I said,"Grannie, if yeer chair could speak it could tell ye a tale, but, (I said) Grannie, I'll tell ye myself" So I slipped my arms roon auld Grannies neck and sang this into her ear ....