Most miserable man on earth, The
First Published | 1905 |
Writer/composer | William Hargreaves | Roud | RN21950 |
Music Hall Performers | Sam Mayo |
Folk performances | Collected from the singing of: Cutmore, Charlie; England : Suffolk; 1964/65 |
I like to save money, 'cos I'm fond of 'oof' And as milk's rather dear just now I saved up my money, just thirty eight pounds And I bought such a beautiful cow. I'm the most miserable man on earth Of trouble I'm always full The reason that I am so miserable is The cow's not a cow, it's a bull. I went to the races to back a good horse And this horse was named 'Penny Bun' I had two quid to win, and a quid for a place And it romped home at twenty-to-one. I'm the most miserable man on earth My trouble I cannot shelve My horse it had rolled home at twenty-to-one The bookie at half-past twelve. I went to a penny show one night to see A big foreign artiste from Rome He swallowed a sword, and it pleased me so much I tried it when I got back home. Oh. I'm the most miserable man on earth My troubles fill sorrow's cup I swallowed the sword, just the same as he did But, hang it! I can't get it up. I called on my doctor to get his advice And some physic to cure all my ills He examined me, found it a serious case And said, 'Swallow this box of pills.' Oh. I'm the most miserable man on earth And no wonder I feel upset I swallowed the box of pills six weeks ago And I don't think the lid's come off yet. I went to the butcher's with my dog today The dog by the butcher did sit The butcher said, as he was carving the meat 'Shall I throw your doggie a bit?' Oh. I'm the most miserable man on earth The dog it was hungry I'm sure I said, 'Certainly, you can throw my dog a bit,' So he threw the dog through the door.
Another comic Music Hall song popular in the 1900s that was remembered by traditional singers in the pubs of southern England in the 1960s – it appears on Neil Lanham’s excellent Comic Songs of the Stour Valley, sung by Charlie Cutmore.
It was written and composed by William Hargreaves and was a hit for Sam Mayo.
Sources:
- Entries in the Roud Indexes at the Vaughn Williams Memorial Library: https://archives.vwml.org/search/all:single[folksong-broadside-books]/0_50/all/score_desc/extended-roudNo_tr%3A21950
- Kilgarrif Sing Us
- Lyrics: monologues.co.uk
- Worldcat entry
- Comic songs of the Stour Valley, Helions Bumpstead NLCD 8, obtainable from the Oral Traditions website
- Image courtesy of Victoria and Albert Museum