Learning McFadden to waltz

AKA McFadden learning to waltz
Clarence McFaden
Teaching McFadden to waltz
First Published 1890
Writer/composer MF Carey Roud RN3707

Music Hall Performers Johnny Danvers of the Mohawk Minstrels
Folk performances Collected from the singing of:
Ballagh, Morgan; USA : Michigan c1930s
Michie, Miss Margaret; USA : Virginia; 1930
Lambertson, Mrs. John; USA : Michigan; 1931
Carter, Mrs. Margaret Michie; USA : Virginia; 1936
O’Sullivan, Florence; Ireland : Co. Cork; 1937/1938
Blackburn, Sam; USA : California; 1939
Barlow, Mrs. Susie S.; USA : Utah; 1949
Mathieson, Willie; Scotland : Aberdeenshire; 1952
Redden, Fred; Canada : Nova Scotia; 1955
McClung, Tom; N. Ireland : Co. Armagh; 1978
Downey, Jerome; Canada : Newfoundland; 1980
Richards, Dick; USA : New York; 1998
Todd, Mrs.; England : Derbyshire; 1950s/1960s

Clarence McFadden he wanted to waltz.
But his feet wasn't gaited that way,
So he saw a professor and stated his case,
And said he was willing to pay,
The professor looked down in alarm at his feet
As he viewed their enormous expanse,
And he tacked on a five to his regular price
For learning McFadden to dance.

One, two, three, balance like me,
You're quite a fairy, but you have your faults.
While your left foot is lazy your right foot is crazy.
But don't be unaisy, I'll learn you to waltz.

He took out McFadden before the whole class.
And he showed him the step once or twice,
But McFadden's two feet got tied into a knot,
Sure he thought he was standing on ice;
At last he broke loose and struck out with a will,
Never looking behind or before,
But his head got so dizzy he fell on his face,
And chewed all the wax off the floor.

McFadden soon got the step into his head,
But it wouldn't go into his feet;
He hummed "La Gitana "from morning till night,
And he counted his steps on the street.
One night he went home to his room to retire
After painting the town a bright red.
Sure he dreamt he was waltzing and let out his feet.
And he kicked the dash-board off the bed.  

When Clarence had practiced the step for a while,
Sure he thought that he had it down fine.
He went to a girl and he asked her to dance,
And he wheeled her out into the line;
He walked on her feet, and he fractured her toes.
And he said that her movement was false,
Sure the poor girl went round for two weeks on a crutch
For learning McFadden to waltz.

Another song mocking Irish stereotypes that was widely taken up by Irish traditional singers in most English-speaking countries. Sources on the Internet describe it as an “Irish Music Hall song” but I can find no evidence that it was ever sung in the Halls – its included here because I started to investigate it and thought I might as well publish my notes!

The song seems to have been written in America by MF Carey, a little-known writer/composer responsible for a handful of comic songs published by firms associated with Tin Pan Alley. First published in the USA in 1890, it was re-published by Francis Day and Hunter in 1891, as a result of the its successful deployment by Johnny Danvers of the Mohawk Minstrels. It can seem incongruous that a song mocking the Irish was sung by a white man pretending to be African American, but this was relatively commonplace in minstrel shows at that time.

In the late 19th century it was a popular song amongst amateur performers and there are multiple reports in local newspapers of it being performed at social events in the 1890s.

Entries in Roud Index suggest it was widely published in cheap 19th century broadsides and songbooks

The song crops up several times in commercial settings in the 20th century. It was revived in 1910 as Teaching McFadden to dance and performed by May Irwin in Getting a Polish, a Broadway show which ran for 48 performances. Shirley Temple sang it in the 1939 film Susannah of the Mounties.

Here’s a British UK recording from the 1930s by Patrick Kavanagh, a person about whom I can find almost no information:

Sources: