There's lots of things that babies get And don't appreciate That we grown ups would like to have, And reckon "simply great!" The darling girls kiss baby, and He howls - the foolish boy! If they did that to us we'd all Lie down and kick for joy.
How would you like to be a baby? a bouncing little baby boy? Fancy you, fancy me Dancing up and down upon a nice girls knee! We'd chance being call'd a silly gaby, our little life we would enjoy. How would you like to be a baby? a bouncing little baby boy?
There's baby's youthful aunties' fair, Those two we all admire, Will warm his tootsies on their lap Before the bedroom fire. We hear them from our room next door O'er baby bill and coo: "The little pet had better go To rest between us two!"
And in the morn when we awake, Into our old cold tub We tumble shiv'ring, no one there Our poor old chest to rub. The baby's cooing as he's bathed, Re-echoes through the place; Then how we wish the darling girls Would 'Wash our little face!
Its true that baby sometimes our Commiseration wins When into him they stick one of Those awful safety-pins. But still we'd grin and bear it if, When we got through our yell, We had a lovely girl to kiss The place, and make it well.
Another song included because it follows the theme of the family of songs related to I wish they’d do it now, though this one is sung to what appears to be an original melody . It was written and composed in around 1910 by EW Rogers . It was performed in the Halls by Arthur Lennard (sometimes spelt Leonard). As far as I know it hasn’t featured in the repertoire of traditional singers.
Sources:
Kilgarrif Sing Us
Lyrics and Sheet Music: Rogers, E. W., & Lennard, A. (1910). How would you like to be a baby? Francis, Day and Hunter. [Bodleian Mediated Copying Service]