Horticultural Wife, The

 THE HORTICULTURAL WIFE.
 Sung by Mr. Rees in the “ King’s Gardiner.”

 She's my myrtle, my geranium,
 My sunflower, my sweet majorum,
 My honeysuckle, my tulip, my violet,
 My hollyhock, my dahlia, my mignionette.
 
 Oh, oh she's a fickle wild rose,
 A damask, a cabbage, a china rose.

 She’s my snowdrop, my rununculus,
 My hyacinth. my gilliflower, my polyanthus,
 My heart's ease, my pink, my water-lily,
 My huttercup, my daisy, my daffydowndilly.

 We’ve grown up together like young apple trees,
 And clung to each other, like double sweet peas,
 Now they are going to trim her, and plant her in
 a spot
 And I am left, to wither, neglected and forgot.
  
 I’m like a scarlet runner that has lost its stick,
 Or a cherry that’s left for the dicky birds to pick ;
 Like a watering pot I weep, like a paviour I sigh,
 Like a mushroom I'll wither, like a cucumber I’ll die. 

 I'm like a bumble bee that doesn't know where to settle,
 She's a dandylion, and a stinging nettle,
 My heart’s like beet root, choaked up with chicken-weed, ‘
 My head’s like a pumpkin, a-running to seed,
 
 I've a great mind to make myself a felo de se,
 And finish all my woes on the branch of a tree,"
 But I won’t for I know at my kicking you would roar,
 And honour my death with a double encore.

First verse in later (?) versions:
I'm a broken-hearted gardener and don't know what to do, 
My love she is unconstant and a fickle one too; 
One smile from her lips will never be forgot, 
It refreshes like this shower from a watering pot

Sam Henry collected this song in Northern Ireland in the 1930s, but did not record the name of his source singer. He describes it as “an old popular street ballad”. The song does indeed appear in many 19th-century broadsides and songbooks. The earliest records of the song seem to indicate it was written to be sung as part of C. Selby’s burletta The King’s Gardiner (a burletta is a brief comic opera). The King’s Gardiner seems to have had its debut in London in 1839, and the song was sung by Mr Rees, who played a character called Galochard.