Gamekeeper, The

I'm known as Jock the keeper by the people in the village,
And there's not a poacher near when I'm around;
And the laird o the estate thinks I'm absolutely great,
That there's not a better keeper can be found;
But I know all the habits of the simple-minded rabbits,
And I'm quick enough sometimes to catch a hare;
And you can take my word, I'm also known by ev'ry bird,
But as I'm a married man I'll say nae mair.

But wi ma gun by ma side an my dug below ma airm,
I toddle through the heather in the gloamin.
When the old cock crows, ev'rybody knows
Ye're sure to see the keeper in the mornin.

[Spoken] A rare life for you, away thru the heather

I toddle to the village when the public hoose is open
And the village constable is there as well.
That's where we compare oor notes an wet oor thirsty throats
And lots o things each other have to tell;
And if its a rainy day, for hours and hours we stay,
And we're often known to stay till late at night;
For that's where we get evidence against the poacher lads
And we always put it down in black an white.

[Chorus]

[Spoken] I  tell you there's no life like a gamekeeper's, what a life! Up with the lark to bed with a bottle. And mind you, although I say it mysel', since I've been the heed keeper at Glen Cocker [?] there hasn't been a single poacher seen on the estate. Except a few of my relations you know, A let them an occasionally you know. Mind you, the laird's a decent fella, oh yes, oh a grand fella and any amount of money. He made a huge fortune through having celluloid business premises and Jewish fire brigades. But mind you a man of his word. That's what I like about him, a man of his word. When he bought the estate he said to me, keeper, whatever I shoot I'll sent it to the local hospital.... He's a man of his word, we sent a policeman and two shepherds this mornin'!

[Chorus]