Farmer (Varmer) Giles

As sung by David Gardner
I'm up from the country my name it is Giles,
I've travelled a hundred and fifty odd miles.
Now for a soft sort of country chap I have been took,
But I tell you I ain't such a fool as I look.

With a too ra li oo ra li oo ra li ay,
To see all the sights I've come such a long way,
It cost me the best part of two shillings a day.
Just a too ra li oo ra li oo ra li ay.

.We came up to London, the journey was fine
 On the Bristol to Paddington Gurt Western line;
 Now of snails and tor-toises I’ve heard lots of talk,
 But if I’m in a hurry to get whome I’ll walk.

 Too-ra-li oo-ra-li oo-ra-li ay,
 ’Cos it took I all night and best part of next day ;
 Now as I rubbed my wish-bone, and all I could say ,
 Was too-ra-li oo-ra-li oo-ra-li ay.

 Now we went to Westminster and zed [see’d] Parliament ,
 And a very enjoyable time there I spent.
 There was plenty to laugh at and much to admire,
 One gentleman he called the t’other a liar.

 With a too-ra-li oo-ra-li oo-ra-li ay,
 I s’pose that’s what they call the up-to-date way,
 For though they didn’t do much they’d plenty to zay,
 Just too-ra-li oo-ra-li oo-ra-li ay.

 Now we zed [see’d] Nelson’s Column that day from The Strand,
 A chap standin’ by I said isn’t that grand;
 I said "I can byet [beat] that, I pardons, I begs,"
 "Down on our farm there’s a peg wi’ five legs".

 With a too-ra-li oo-ra-li oo-ra-li ay,
 "I byet ’e [thee] that time, mister, what coust [couldst] ’e say?
 For thee casn’t get five hams off a pig every day,"
 Wi’ a too-ra-li oo-ra-li oo-ra-li ay.

 Now the Angels of Islington I’ve never seen,
 I took a bus up to Islington Green.
 Tho’ I sed ["see’d"] scores and scores of them dainty young things,
 They all wore fine feathers but not one had wings .

 Too-ra-li oo-ra-li oo-ra-li ay,
 They all called for drinks and then axed["asked"] I to pay,
 I said "if you’m [you’re] Angels, go off, fly away",
 With a too-ra-li oo-ra-li oo-ra-li ay.
 
Now the War Office blunder makes everyone gape,
 They tell I ’tis all on account of red tape;
 But when a yeoman goes fighting, I’ll make bold to say
 That the least wi’ can do is to gi’ em some pay.

 Singin’ too-ra-li oo-ra-li oo-ra-li ay,
 Just give I a chance with me sheep shears I say,
 And damn ’em I’ll cut all their red tape away,
 Singin’ too-ra-li oo-ra-li oo-ra-li ay