Cow and three acres, A

AKA Three acres and a cow
First Published 1885
Writer/composer Arthur Lloyd Roud RN24484

Music Hall Performers Arthur Lloyd
Folk performances None I’m aware of

I'm only just a labourer,
Just Agricultural;
Some time ago I happened to
Be talking to a pal:
Says I, I've got a vote!
Says he, 'Do what I tell thee now,
Let Liberals have it and you'll get,
Three acres and a cow.'

And I've got three acres,
Three acres and a cow;
And now I've got it, I don't know,
What I'll do wi' it now:
The blooming cow it worries me,
And leads me such a rig;
I wish that they would take it back,
And let me have a pig.

And when the cow comed home,my wife
She says to me, 'Why Joe,
We've got no place to put her in,
Where be the cow to go?'
'By gum,' says I to her,
'I never thought o' this somehow,
So in our bedroom, we have been
Obliged to keep the cow.

I've got three acres, true enough.
But a year more come to pass;
Before upon those acres,
There will grow a blade grass:
And though it be a Liberal cow,
As Liberal as Charles Dilke;
I'm blowed if it will yield us even,
Half a pint o'milk.
 
I've seen a few cows in my time,
But this cow, cows the lot;
If she tries her tricks on any more,
I'll let her have it hot:
If I'd not been in such a hurry,
Wi' my vote to part,
From t'other side, perhaps I might,
Have got a horse and cart.

One of a number of songs written in response to the slogan for land reform adopted by Joseph Chamberlain and other Radical Liberals in the general election of July 1886. You will find more about the songs and the issue here.

Generally the Music Hall response to the demand for land and livestock seems to have been deeply unsympathetic. A number of comic songs were written which drew on the tradition in the Halls of subjecting rural folks to ridicule. The two most successful of these were Harry Liston’s Them three acres of land and a cow and this one, written and performed by  Arthur Lloyd. This brief description of Lloyd singing it appeared in The Era:

Dec. 26, 1885; The Era 

He was still performing it in October 1886:

 Friday,  Oct. 29, 1886;  Glasgow Herald 

Much more on Arthur Lloyd can be found at the comprehensive website ArthurLloyd.co.uk.

A song more sympathetic to the demand also called Three Acres and a cow appeared around that time, based on the Music Hall standard I wish they’d do it now.

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