Arf a pint of ale

AKA Half a pint of ale (!)
First published 1905
Lyrics Charles Tempest Music Charles Tempest Roud RN32454

Music Hall performers Gus Elen
Folk performances Cosmotheka
Jim Mageean		 

I hate those blokes wot talks about
The things wot they like to drink
Such as tea and coffee, cocoa and milk
Why, such fings I never fink
I'm plain in me 'abits and plain in me food
And wot I say is this
If a man wot drinks such rubbish at his meals
Well, I always gives 'im a miss.

Now at breakfast I never fink of 'aving tea
I likes arf a pint of ale
And me dinner I likes a little bit o' meat
An arf a pint of ale
For me tea I likes a little bit o' fish
An arf a pint of ale
And for supper I likes a crust o' bread and cheese
And a pint and an arf of ale.

Now this is how I looks at it
And I think you'll agree with me
I've never seen a man get drunk in me life
On cocoa, coffee or tea
To think I pay one and eight a pound for tea
Why, the thought makes me feel queer
When I think of what you'd get for another one and six
Such a pretty little barrel of beer.

Now folks wot drinks such stuff as that
Are always looking pale
They've pains in their tummies
And they've pains in their backs
But I never had a pain with ale
I always feel happy, and I always feel right
When I've had a glass or two
So why should I drink coffee or tea
When theres' plenty of ale would do?

Gus Elen (1862-1940): ex-egg packer, one-time shop assistant, was one of the great Coster comedians. At the height of his fame on both sides of the Atlantic in the 1890s and 1900s, he retired in the first world war. According to his contemporaries, he was much more like a real Cockney Coster character than some of his fellow artistes. According to MacQueen Pope there was “a grim seriousness which overlaid the humour” in some of his songs, which included It’s a Great Big Shame and If it Wasn’t for the Houses In between. Unlike so many of his contemporaries from working-class backgrounds , he amassed a small fortune during his time as a performer, which allowed him to retire to the countryside, refusing all offers of a comeback except a single Royal Variety performance.

The words and music of this song, published in 1905, were written by Charles Tempest, who is not credited with writing any other songs in the sources that I have available, it may be a pseudonym.

Quite often heard in UK folk singarounds – in my experience usually introduced as a music Hall song. It features in the repertoire of both Cosmotheka and Jim Mageean (thanks to Graeme Knights for this last point!)

Sources:

Gus Elen: