All I want is a proper cup of coffee

AKA	What I want is a proper cup of coffee
First published	1926

Writer/composer

RP Weston/Bert Lee

Roud

V53398

All I want is a proper cup of coffee
Made in a proper copper coffee pot
I may be off my dot but I want a proper coffee
In a proper copper pot"
"Iron coffee pots and tin coffee pots
They are no use to me
If I can't have a proper cup of coffee
In a proper copper coffee pot, I'll have a cup of tea"

In days of old when knights and men were bold
And whiskey was much cheaper
Dick Turpin rode to a coffee shop
And showed his pistols to the keeper
He said, "Stand and deliver!
Can't you see that I'm all a quiver?"


When Bonaparte found that he was in the cart
And he lost that Waterloo fight
He gave his sword to Wellington, my Lord
And he said, "Those British can't half fight"
"Now you've had your Waterloo, sir
Tell me what am I having with you, sir?"


Now king Solomon and his queen would carry on
So we heard in the ancient scandals
He bought her lots of silver coffee pots
With diamond legs and handles
And said the Queen of Sheba
"I'd rather have any old tea-bag"

Weston and Lee – perhaps the most famous songwriters in Music Hall. Bert Weston and Bob Lee were introduced to each other by their music publishers, and worked together for 20 years producing more than 3000 songs and hundreds of sketches. Some of the better-known hits included: Good-bye-eee, Paddy McGinty’s Goat, and Lloyd George’s Beer . They famously wrote a number of sketches and songs for Stanley Holloway. They both wrote both words and music, alternating between the two, but according to Bert: “Bob has the brains. I put the laughs in.” To learn more about Ernie Maine see: “You can’t get many pimples on a pound of pickled pork”

Sources:

• Words: monologues.co.uk
• Sheet Music: Bumper Book of Music Hall Songs
• Music Hall, An Illustrated history

Cosmotheka’s rendition