Chillingowullabadorie

From monologues.co.uk

Just like Sindbad the Sailor,
Or Robinson Crusoe,
I left, my native land, in search
Of wonders I would go;
I went out as a sailor,
I come back as you see,
A mixture of an Indian,
A Turk and Chimpanzee.

Jamsethee, ma jabajehoy,
Jabbery Dobie Porie,
Ikey, Pikey, Sikey, Crikey,
Chillingowullabadorie.

We'd been to sea a fortnight,
A dreadful storm arosed;
Upon an island I was thrown
To wind and rain exposed:
By savages surrounded,
It was their island home,
They addressed me in a language
Decidedly their own.

I expected from these savages,
Less peace than kicks and blows;
They'd a funny dress, in fact they'd not
A single stitch of clothes.
They tore my things, from off my back,
My hair from out the roots,
They left me with a waistcoat,
A hat and pair of boots.
 
When they'd got all my clothing,
Thinks I, what next they'll do;
They brought their paint and painted me,
With colours red and blue:
And so that was my costume;
A waistcoat for my clothes,
Striped red and blue, a hat and boots
And a ring stuck through my nose.
 
For five years in that costume,
I roamed about the land;
To a damsel of the Royal-blood,
They made me give my hand.
And there were great rejoicings
Upon the wedding day,
And we've got two pairs of black kids
My wife has taught to say.
 
One day a ship appeared in sight,
I'd scarce believe it true;
To reach the ship I stole a boat,
And paddled my own canoe.
But now I'm back in England,
The country I adore;
I'll take good care to stick to it;
And never leave it more.